How to Discuss a Prenup With Your Soon-to-be Spouse?

The trend of prenuptial agreements is on the rise because of a growing acceptance of its usefulness, especially among millennials and Generation Z. However, according to mediation experts, this favorable trend does not make requesting your partner to sign a prenup any easier. Here are some insights from seasoned mediators about how to approach your soon-to-be spouse about signing an equitable and fair prenuptial agreement.

Focus on Your Future Together – Beyond the Thought of Divorce

Although the first thing that may come to mind when you talk about a prenup is divorce, in reality the discussion can cover a range of issues – including estate planning and allocation of assets and debts. Touching upon sensitive topics, such as money, sex, and death could become a gateway to some serious and valuable conversations. It will give both of you an opportunity to think about your future together more realistically.

What type of relationship you are looking at for all times to come? Will one of you leave their job to bring up kids? Do you plan to continue higher education or start your own business? What are your investment plans for the future? The initiation of these conversations will open your mind and set you both up for long-term marital success.

Even under the most ideal circumstances, married couples go through stressful conversations – about raising kids, buying a house, dealing with illness or disability, and estate planning, among others. Approaching personal and financial issues at the outset will pave the way for mature decisions down the road. On the other hand, avoiding pragmatic issues now and having communication gaps will only make life harder after marriage.

Help Your Partner Look at the Upside

Are you worried your suggestion to go ahead with a prenup would make your future spouse think you don’t love them any longer? Begin by stating that a prenuptial agreement is not about love – it is about mutually beneficial financial planning. Explain to your partner that a prenup offers you both an opportunity to:

  • Discuss how household bills and other joint financial obligations will be paid.
  • Allocate loans and debts, which will ensure one partner does not have to assume responsibility of the other’s liabilities.
  • Initiate the estate planning process and make provisions in the event of either partner’s death.
  • Define boundaries regarding how to carry out business operations after marriage.

Most importantly, in the unfortunate event of the marriage ending at some point, the prenuptial agreement brings peace of mind for both parties. Both would be aware that most of the potentially thorny issues have already been addressed. This prevents much heartburn and complications later on, avoids the risk of bitter litigation, and paves the way for a fair, swift, confidential and affordable divorce mediation process.

Work with a Trusted and Skilled Mediator

Taking the first step can be naturally intimidating when you want to have a prenuptial agreement. The good thing is that you do not have to do it all alone. A competent mediation expert can help you navigate the process of successfully obtaining a fair and equitable prenup.

From determining what areas should be covered in the agreement to collecting financial documentation and making appropriate disclosures to drafting a legally enforceable agreement that is acceptable to both sides, a skillful mediator can support the process every step of the way.


Carmela DeNicola

Carmela DeNicola, the Co Owner at Advanced Mediation Solutions, is a business and workplace mediator with over three decades of executive experience in the corporate world. Carmela handles all types of business and workplace mediation. She works with municipalities, schools, private companies, partnerships, non-profits, and any other type of entity. MORE

Featured Mediators

View all

Read these next


Multidisciplinary Mediation

Building any business is daunting. Those of us tackling the business of multidisciplinary mediation encounter additional obstacles. Apart from the rigors of setting up a practice, multidisciplinary mediators face the...

By Jane A. Stephenson, Sharon A. Parisi

A Guide To Creative Christmas Plans For Divorced Parents

Holiday traditions have created happy family memories. Stockings hung on the chimney with care, the smell of hot chocolate in the air, and children playing around the Christmas tree.  While...

By Michael Aurit

The Art of Jackson Pollack and the Artistry of John Haynes: Harnessing the Natural Energy of Conflict on the Mediation Canvas

Few who had the opportunity to observe John Haynes mediate disputes would deny his artistry.  His elegant presence, accented by bow tie and British accent, and framed by graceful hand...

By Robert Benjamin

Find a Mediator