Being Unafraid to Feel

Conflict Management Coaching Blog by Cinnie Noble

“The bravest thing you can do is be unafraid to feel”- Bridgett Devoue

When we feel emotional about a conflict – hurt, anger, betrayal, disappointment, and so on – it is a clear sign that something important to us is being challenged or threatened or undermined. That might seem like an understatement. However, the importance of acknowledging what emotions we are experiencing and why cannot be overstated. That is, it’s important and brave to remain unafraid to feel what is going on for us at these times.

This is for many reasons, one of which is that when we step back – and identify the emotions and to what they relate – we gain a better understanding of what motivated our reactions and ongoing ruminations. Also, by taking some time and thinking things out a bit, we start to make a shift to reflection from reaction, which helps move us into a more productive mind set. That shift often facilitates the ability to gain a better perspective, including an understanding of what is motivating the other person. Or, at least, we might move into a better head space to be able to engage them in a conversation – rather than a confrontation – about what is going on between us.

This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog invites you to consider an interpersonal dispute about which you are aware you are feeling afraid to let yourself feel or name your emotions about the other person, the situation or yourself.

  • What is the dispute about?
  • What three words describe what you are feeling about the other person?
  • What three words describe what you are feeling about yourself?
  • What are you afraid of feeling?
  • What are you afraid of saying to the other person?
  • What is the brave thing to do about the situation?
  • What is the brave thing to say?
  • What is the brave thing to feel about yourself?
  • If you were to feel what you are keeping inside, what do you fear might happen?
  • If you were to express what you are feeling how might that help?
  • What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
  • What insights do you have?
                        author

Cinnie Noble

Cinnie Noble is a certified coach (PCC) and mediator and a former lawyer specializing in conflict management coaching. She is the author of two coaching books: Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY™ Model and Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide You. MORE >

Featured Mediators

ad
View all

Read these next

Category

Negotiation Advice From An International Arbitrator

From the ADR Prof blogLast week, I was delighted to welcome Lucy Reed, a partner at Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer and co-chair of their international arbitration group as our inaugural speaker...

By Andrea Schneider
Category

Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: Mediated Negotiations

We were just talking yesterday about deception in negotiations. But how about deception by the mediator? Take this 2000 mediate.com article by JAMS neutral and former U.S. Magistrate John W. Cooley, Defining...

By Victoria Pynchon
Category

Become a Virtual Judge or Have Your Case Settled on the Net

Brav is a new way for people of any age to find a solution to bullying, violence, and conflict. Find out why this is so important and join our guest,...

By Patricia Porter

Find a Mediator

X
X
X