I imagine we all do! However, we aren’t necessarily aware of how we do so until it’s too late. Though we are generally aware of the “hot buttons” for our family members and friends and those we come to know well (such as colleagues and co-workers) we sometimes don’t know the range of things that provoke them. New friends, colleagues and others start with a clean slate and we sometimes learn their “hot buttons” too late.
When we are provoked by something others say or do, or even what they don’t say or do, many of us let the person know directly. Others of us do so indirectly showing signs of being disgruntled without really saying what is happening. Similarly, when we provoke others, they let us know in their individual ways. In either case, lots of times the signs are so indirect we and others miss them altogether.
When we want to strengthen a relationship that is disrupted by a conflict and possibly, engage in productive conflict conversations, or to show up in ways that welcome and invite dialogue of differences, it helps to consider what we do that irritates others. Here are some questions in this week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog that may work to heighten awareness about this topic.
International Center for Cooperation and Conflict ResolutionRecent studies have shown that being adaptive in conflict situations (employing resolution strategies that fit with different types of situations) is associated with more...By Regina Kim