Find Mediators Near You:

What it Takes to be Conflict Masterful

Conflict Management Blog by Cinnie Noble

How we define conflict mastery and the characteristics needed to be and be seen as such varies. In general, this term refers to being comfortable engaging in conflict – realizing it is an inevitable and normal part of our lives. It is also about distinguishing necessary from unnecessary conflict and being aware of ourselves and who we are when provoked or provoking others.

Conflict mastery also means being able to regulate our emotions, to gain perspective on the situation and the other person, to be empathetic, to be attuned to the dynamic at play, to be able to stand back from the situation and reflect, and to take responsibility for our contribution. These and other ways of considering the meaning of conflict mastery provide us with benchmarks to gauge what we want to strive for to be better able to engage in and manage situations that cause us and others tension.

For this week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog, the objective is to consider what conflict mastery means to you.

  • What, for you, are the main ingredients of conflict mastery, other than those listed above?
  • When you are conflict masterful, how do you see yourself?
  • How might others see you when you are conflict masterful that you have not included in your previous answer?
  • Which references in the above paragraphs (before the questions) most resonate about your current skills in conflict?
  • Which references in the above paragraphs indicate characteristics you would like to develop/improve?
  • What conflict masterful traits have you observed in others that you especially admire that you have not mentioned yet?
  • When you are being less than masterful at conflict, what is your default?
  • How do you currently show up when it comes to your default?
  • How will you improve your skills at engaging in conflict?
  • When you improve your conflict mastery skills, what do you anticipate will be different in your interactions?
  • What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
  • What insights do you have?

Cinnie Noble

Cinnie Noble is a certified coach (PCC) and mediator and a former lawyer specializing in conflict management coaching. She is the author of two coaching books: Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY™ Model and Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide You. MORE >

Featured Mediators

View all

Read these next


Race and Caste, Gender and Patriarchy, Wealth and Class: Mediating the Systems, Structures, and Sources of Prejudice

“The function, the very serious function of racism, . . . is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody...

By Kenneth Cloke

Organizational Culture: The Context For Employment Disputes

Employment disputes often start with someone saying something like, “It just turned out not to be a good fit.” Or maybe, “I don’t understand how such a good hire turned...

By Maria Simpson

April BOOK CLUB: William Ury

From the blog Mediation Marketing TipsI am pleased to announce that the book of the month for Kristina’s Mediation Book Club is The Power Of A Positive No (How To...

By Kristina Haymes