The Secret Good Negotiators Know

Tammy Lenski’s Conflict Zen Blog

Good negotiators know this secret: Persuade with your ears, not your mouth.

Instead of trying to persuade by telling and then telling some more, lead with your curiosity. Good negotiators listen for:

The reasons behind their position.
What they care about most.
Ways you can help them get more of what they care most about.
The standards they use to judge the quality of your offer.
Why what you’re proposing isn’t resonating.
Practice in low-stakes situations every day in order to master your listening skills and be better able to listen well in high-stakes situations. Build muscle memory for when you need it most. You become a good negotiator with regular practice.


Tammy Lenski

Dr. Tammy Lenski helps individuals, pairs, teams, and audiences navigate disagreement better, address friction, and build alignment. Her current work centers on creating the conditions for robust collaboration and sound decisions while fostering resilient personal and professional relationships. Her conflict resolution podcast and blog, Disagree Better, are available at… MORE >

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