Self-help Mediation Tool for Couples

The Improve-Your-Relationship® test is filled in individually. On every single question the partners score both their own answer and the answer they think their partner will give. The answers are divided into four categories, based on whether the partners agree or disagree and how well they predict each other´s answers. 

(You may view the tool here .)

An example might be the question: “We have a satisfactory division of tasks in the home”. Maybe one partner answers “I completely agree” and makes a guess that the other would give the same answer. If, however, the other partner answers “I completely disagree”, the answers show a challenge for the couple.

The opposite might also be the case – the partners think they disagree, but they actually agree. In that case the test has highlighted a strength.

Room for dialogue or request a mediator

The purpose of the test is to develop the relationship. Enclosed in the test is therefore an instruction on how to understand the results and how to have a constructive couples dialogue or a self-directed mediation about the themes. A dialogue where the couple gives each other time to both listen and speak.

In some cases the test might give a reason to believe that it would be appropriate to have a third party/mediator or a couples counsellor help with a dialogue about the difficult themes. This is especially the case, if the couple themselves believe that their relationship is in danger.

Unlike most online tests for couples the test does not determine whether the relationship is good or bad or whether you are with the right partner. Instead it focuses on the couple´s strengths and challenges, and aims to show which themes and experiences can be important for for the couple to work with, to make sure they have a mutually satisfying relationship.

 

The tool is available  here

                        author

Asger Neumann

Asger Neumann holds a MA in Psychology from the University of Aarhus and he is certified by The Danish Association of Psychologists. Moreover, he works as an external lecturer and supervisor at the University of Aarhus.   Since 1993 Asger has worked as a vocational psychologist at municipalities, institutions of… MORE >

                        author

Søren Braskov

Søren Braskov graduated as a MA in Psychology from the University of Aarhus in 1985. Since then he has had a private practice, and for 10 years he has been employed at the psychiatry in Århus Kommune.   Søren is certified by The Danish Association of Psychologists. Moreover, he was… MORE >

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