Puuuulllllease!

Cinergy Coaching by Cinnie Noble

As we know, the word please is usually meant to be a polite statement that accompanies a request of another. With a drawn out pronunciation and sarcastic intonation, this word can turn quickly into an expression that reflects disgust, disapproval, anger, and disagreement. ‘Puullease’ may be used to dismiss the other person, to criticize, or to put them down. In any case, saying this word in the way just described typically leaves little room for conciliatory dialogue.

Consider a time when you have used an imploring statement such as ‘puullease’ in a conflict or when someone else has, when answering this week’s ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions). Feel free to substitute another word you may have used with the same sort of intonation:

What was the context for using ‘puullease’?

What did you mean by saying ‘puullease’ (or other word you used with the same intonation)?

What were you experiencing at the time?

What happened to the conversation?

How did the other person react?

When someone has used an expression like ‘puullease’ in response to something you said, what has been the impact on you?

What were you hoping to happen in the above scenario that didn’t?

What could you have said to replace ‘puullease’ to be able to achieve that?

If you were to use the word ‘please’ to start off a sentence that states what you wanted or needed from the other person what would that sentence be?

How would it sound?

What other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add here?

                        author

Cinnie Noble

Cinnie Noble is a certified coach (PCC) and mediator and a former lawyer specializing in conflict management coaching. She is the author of two coaching books: Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY™ Model and Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide You. MORE >

Featured Mediators

ad
View all

Read these next

Category

Personal Insight into how to Engage with Someone with a Hidden Disability

CMP Resolution Blog by Lesley Allport and Katherine Graham.--Guest post by RolandA new dirty word Disability. Is it my new dirty word? Dis-abled? Less able? Less competent? Can’t do the...

By Katherine Graham
Category

3 Things Your Mediator Probably Won’t Tell You

Tammy Lenski's Conflict Zen Blog3 things your mediator probably won’t tell you (and why you should hire them anyway). 1. I’m not necessarily good at handling conflict in my own...

By Tammy Lenski
Category

Watch Out for the Non-Verbal Cues!

PGP Mediation Blog by Phyllis G. PollackOne of the latest blog posts from the Harvard  Negotiation Project notes the importance of understanding body language in negotiations. Written by the PON...

By Phyllis Pollack

Find a Mediator

X
X
X