Civil Negotiation and Mediation by Nancy Hudgins
Check out the little boy’s face.
Remember when you were a little kid listening to stories? They can be mesmerizing. Even for adults, for there is a child in each of us. Somewhere.
Lawyers who try cases know that telling stories in opening statements and closing arguments is a compelling and persuasive way to influence juries. As Annette Simons in The Story Factor puts it, when you are trying to influence a group, giving them more facts is just piling on more facts. Jurors likely have more facts than they can process well. She suggests:
“They don’t need more facts. They need help finding their wisdom. . . . A storywill help them figure out what all the facts mean.”
As the best trial lawyers know, when you let jurors access their own wisdom to reach their own conclusions, they are more likely to own that opinion than when you tell them what their opinion should be.
Why not use the same process during mediation? At times, mediations digress into a tug-of-war between the egos of opposing counsel and/or opposing parties. Storytelling has the ability of making a point without setting off an ego war. Ease them out of their point of view.
Again from Simmons:
“You don’t have to convince people that they are wrong to influence them. . . . Letyour listener’s ego sleep. Concentrate instead on providing a visceral experience ofa new story where new choices make more sense. Don’t back someone into a corner. . . .Lead their conscious and subconscious minds on a tour of a different point of view. . . .Intrigue and activate their imagination.”
And finally, she asks, “Which is more important to you—being right or influencing others?”
If you are interested in the power of storytelling, check out The Story Factor. Its subtitle is “Inspiration, Influence and Persuasion through the Art of Storytelling.
One of the most typical questions asked of me by parents who are beginning the divorce process is, “What should we tell the children and how should we tell them?”...By Donald T. Saposnek, Ph.D