From Debra Synovec
Congratulations to Mediate.com for reaching this milestone and thanks to Mediate.com for being not only a superb resource of professional information for mediators but also for the clients that needs our services and counting to advance the profession!
Curiosity Is Everything
Curious mind. Cpen mind. Responsive mind. All three advance your divorce settlement conversations.
Mediation Is Better Process For Divorce
I wonder……what would happen if all divorce and family law matters went straight to facilitated, interest based mediation rather than to the courthouse, our hierarchal traditional approach which often exploits people, focuses on differences, is power based valuing win/lose, control and superiority and pits on family member against the other.
Divorce Mediator's Toolbox
Last week in an effort to keep up on the trends and developments in the dispute resolution profession I attended the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution 12th Annual Spring Conference held in San Francisco.
Divorce Tax Tip!
The timing of your divorce could cut your taxes. Your tax bill could be significantly less or more, depending on your filing status as of December 31st.
Divorce And The House
Divorce is usually difficult. Emotions run high and at the same time divorcing couples have the added problem of figuring out the property distribution. This is particularly challenging when the market is down.
Don't Get Lassoed!
You are the best alternative to a litigated solution. Traditional litigation can make you feel like you have been hung out to dry.
Run Toward Fear
People in the midst of divorce are often extremely overcome with fear caused by the overwhelming change in their life. Pressure from fear of the unknown, triggered by questions such as: “How will the divorce affect the children?” “How will I survive financially?” “What will people think?” “Where will I live?”, coupled by anger and raw emotions, drives people to run away, looking for a place to “solve” the questions and expunge the fear. In their flight, divorcing clients regularly run to attorneys, hoping to be saved by the courts, only to find out that the situation then spirals even more out of their control, magnifying the fears, stress and trauma.
Who Decides Your Divorce...Umpire Or You?
Clients often ask “Is mediation right for our divorce situation?” A better question might be “Is litigation right for our divorce situation?”
Asking The Questions
Choosing your divorce mediator is personal. Think about it. You’ll be discussing and making decisions about the things you care about most…..your children, your home, your money, your future, your security, your life. Interview the mediator, ask questions, and make sure they are knowledgeable, dedicated and compassionate. If they will not talk with you before you start, don’t hire them. I have never met a dedicated, compassionate, knowledgeable mediator that is unwilling to talk with a potential client.
Last weekend approximately 250 mediators, arbitrators, lawyers and conflict resolution professionals gathered at the 16th Annual Northwest Dispute Resolution Conference in Seattle, Washington. So how was it? Exceptional as always! Mingling with colleagues and friends, catching up on new happenings in the ADR community is always inspiring, but what I noticed most this year was how many of the workshops focused on…or at least brought up “mindfulness”.
Everything is Negotiable
We Americans generally accept the stated price of goods and services as non-negotiable. I found this assumption to be inaccurate before the financial downturn. It is even more inaccurate now.
So the first thing to ask a mediator is: Do you use a facilitave style or an evaluative or directive style?
Finding Your Divorce Mediator!
Locating a qualified divorce mediator is essential and significant to the process. The mediator is your guide throughout the divorce mediation process. At first locating a mediator may seem like looking for a needle in a haystack because divorce mediators have all sorts of backgrounds and abilities, from lawyers to therapists to financial professionals and many in between. One difficulty is that in most states anyone can hang their shingle and mediate.
So how do you distinguish a really good mediator from a so-so mediator?
What are the steps involved in mediation?
Tip: Remember to NOT fall in love with a particular asset. It may be best to simply say good-bye.
Key To The Puzzle!
Divorce mediation is a client centered, transparent, flexible process that allows clients to create a plan that meets their unique needs and goals based on their circumstances. But what if the divorce clients do not have the information and skills they need to make decisions?
Chose Your Future!
Most people don't have piles of money to burn....especially when they are getting divorced!
Holidays are a busy, stressful time of the year whether you are in the process of getting divorced or not….so why add stress by bringing up taxes? Because taking a little time to do tax planning may save you substantial tax dollars!
Peace and Joy!
Holidays can be a sad and stressful time for people in the midst of divorce... but you do have a choice about how you celebrate the holidays! Most people want to have peace and joy in the Holiday Present rather than being haunted by the Ghost of Holidays Past! Here are some ideas.
Keep Kids Out Of The Middle!
Do you want your children to thrive after divorce? First, learn to communicate respectfully and stop saying negative things about the other parent...at least when the children can hear. Keep your children are out of the middle and take steps to prevent parental alienation. Mediation can help.
Imagine what would happen if everyone practiced non-violence and chose peace!
Holidays can be a stressful time for many families, divorce adds even more complexity because of the changes to routines and family traditions. The most important thing to do is to be civil with your former spouse and keep your children in mind so that they can enjoy the holiday and the turkey….no matter how you feel. Here are some tips!
When To Start Mediation
It is in your hands…..you can contain the flames by choosing mediation. You can start mediation anytime, but the best time to start is in the beginning of the divorce process.
Telling The Children
Keep your children from feeling they have to choose! How parents tell their children about the divorce sets the stage for how the parents will co-parent in the future and has a significant impact on whether the children thrive………no matter what you do legally, both of you will continue to be parents.
The stock market’s been a wild ride over the past year and unlike rides in amusement parks the ride is NOT amusing! The situation increases anxiety for divorcing couples who are already stressed out and feeling the pressure of financial shortage….and it creates havoc for asset valuations.
Open The Door To A Better Future!
Isn’t mediating in the same room only for couples who are cooperative?