Bill Eddy is the President of High Conflict Institute, which provides training to professionals dealing with high conflict disputes. Bill is an international speaker on the subject of high-conflict personalities, providing seminars to attorneys, mediators, collaborative law professionals, judges, ombudspersons, mental health professionals, hospital administrators, college administrators, homeowners association managers and others. He has presented in over 25 states, several provinces in Canada, and in Australia, France and Sweden. Bill is an attorney, a therapist and a mediator. As an attorney, he is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California, where he has represented clients in family court and provided divorce mediation services for the past 18 years. Prior to that, he provided psychotherapy for 12 years to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. He has also taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law for six years. He has served as a Special Master and as a Settlement Judge. He is trained in Collaborative Divorce and has handled collaborative cases. He is currently the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. He is also on the adjunct faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law, and on the faculty of the National Judicial College. Bill is the author of several books, including It’s All YOUR Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything (2008) and SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
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Dealing With Defensiveness In High Conflict People
When most people think of high conflict people (HCPs), they think of bad behavior. The goal seems to be to get them to STOP their bad behavior, by verbally motivating them to have insights into how bad they are acting. However, the high conflict behavior of HCPs is not driven by logic and self-awareness.
Bullies At Work
Workplace bullying is a growing international problem. It is more than a one-time incident. It is a pattern of behavior between a bully and another worker which can demoralize, isolate and trigger illness in the target of the bully.
Calm Upset People with Empathy, Attention and Respect
Everyone gets upset some of the time. High conflict people get upset a lot of the time. A simple technique called an “E.A.R. Statement” can help you calm others down.
High Conflict People
High conflict people (HCPs) are highly defensive, preoccupied with blaming others, and desperate to receive validation for themselves. These characteristics may be part of their personalities, in which case they bring this defensiveness with them everywhere they go. In some cases, both parties are HCPs, while in others one party is stuck in this defensiveness and the other is reasonable some or much of the time.
You Know You're Taking It Personally When....
When you are involved with a high conflict person (HCP) whether personally or professionally, you have experienced how easy it is to get "hooked" into the conflict and how difficult it is to not take it personally. You can recognize the signs of taking it personally and learn how to manage your own emotions and work on solving the problem.
Don't Use "Force"
“I won’t force the children to go with the other parent,” is one of the statements I hear sometimes from parents going through a separation or divorce. This statement has become so common (three times in one day recently), that a short article on this subject may be helpful.
Before You Go to Court
An experienced psychotherapist and mediation practitioner shares tips that you should consider prior to entering a courtroom.
Yes, No or I'll Think About It
Whether in a divorce, a workplace dispute, or a conflict with a neighbor, it’s easy to get caught up in defending our own behavior and point of view. This is especially true when we are dealing with a high conflict person.