How to Ask for Help: Get into the Divorce Talk Comfort Zone

Divorce Detox blog by Andra Brosh

 This is Part One of the “How to Ask for Help” series. It will get you comfortable enough with yourself and others to ask for help. Once you’re in the zone, you’ve won half the battle. Actually, equally key in the process is helping those you are asking for help get comfortable and receptive to your needs.

Ignorance is NOT Bliss
If there ever was a time to turn to your loved ones for support, this is it. Dealing with friends and relatives at this time in your life may be the hardest part of the process. If you understand that most inappropriate responses stem from ignorance, you can help by first educating your support system.

Before you do this though, you need to accept that you are not superhuman and you do need help every now and then and maybe more often right now. We’d like to be able to handle it all: work, kids, home, errands, finances, lawyers, therapists, family, friends, in-laws, out-laws.

Take a deep breath and repeat after me: “I am human. Most of the time I am strong, but there’s nothing wrong with a little help getting to a better place.” Turn the tables. Remember how privileged you feel when someone turns to you for help. You will return the favor one day.

The Naysayers
You will run into a few folks who are less than enthusiastic about your need for help. Just do the equivalent of imagining the audience in their underwear. Imagine that their own domestic situation may not be as fulfilling as they make it out to seem. You know, the old “whoever smelt it dealt it,” or, “I know you are, but what am I”? The big “D” word might be a little too close for comfort.

Help Them Help You
On the whole, people are more than happy to help but usually need some direction. That’s where you step in and hold their hand through the process of helping you.
Stay tuned for the next part of our 2-part “How to Ask for Help” blog series entitled “4 Steps to Getting the Help You Need.”


Andra Brosh

Relationship Coach, Allison Pescosolido, M.A., specializes in relationships, marriage, divorce, separation, and dating in the Los Angeles area and nationwide. MORE >

Featured Mediators

View all

Read these next


Mediation In The Boardroom

The management of conflict at work probably represents the biggest unrecognised area for cost savings and market differentiation for organisations today. There is a proven business case for managing conflict...

By Clive Lewis

Conflict Competency in Healthcare Organizations

Some of the professional work I do involves mediation and consultation within healthcare systems. It’s within the context of some of my work that I recently had the opportunity to...

By Ann Begler

Occupy Central: Resolving the Current Impasse

A. Background Occupy Central (“OC”) has been promoted as a peaceful civil disobedience movement in Hong Kong where the leaders of OC mobilize masses of protestors to blockade Central District...

By Jody Sin

Find a Mediator