Conflict Management Coaching Blog by Cinnie Noble
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” ~ James Baldwin
The notion that we have the ability to change someone (such as their personality, their needs, their values, their core beliefs, their deeply held views) is unrealistic. However, it is realistic that we all have the ability to change – to better understand – our perspectives on an interpersonal conflict including the other person’s part in it. We are able to also face that we contributed to the dynamic including saying or doing things we may not like about ourselves. In the end, if we don’t face what drives our emotions, words and actions and the adverse impact we experienced and caused – nothing really changes.
Admittedly, it is hard to face lots of things about our interpersonal conflicts. As they evolve and our animosity grows, we can easily make up stories to support our views – and find the other person’s wrongness in anything that agrees with our perceptions. We lose perspective, and do an injustice to the other person and ourselves by holding on too tightly to our perspectives and what we think is right.
If you have a dispute in mind in which you know, at some level of consciousness, you are not facing up to some things within it, the following invites you to bring that conflict forward to answer this week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions).
STEP IN to Improvisational Negotiation THE PROBLEM WITH CONVENTIONAL WISDOM IN NEGOTIATION Conventional wisdom in negotiation provides specific responses to stimuli that are categorized as competitive or cooperative behavior. Depending...By Jeffrey Krivis
Acceleration and early completion of a construction project, ahead of schedule, has many potential advantages, including economic as well as physical advantages, for both the Owner and the Contractor. But,...By Norman Stark