Experiencing Your Conflict

Cinergy Coaching by Cinnie Noble

In previous ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blogs I have discussed somatic symptoms of conflict. Today’s post is about what we experience internally that we may or may not show externally. That is, there are ways we are aware of – that others do not necessarily observe – about things going on for us in our body, heart, and brain. Some signs, of course, are evident and will be considered in this discussion.

Experiencing our conflict – the subject of this week’s blog – relates also to what happens for some of us when we are in conflict that impacts our health and well-being. For instance, along with tension we experience in our conflicts, blood pressure may increase. Some of us get upset stomachs which may mean feeling nauseous, or a churning sensation, or other such symptoms. Other reactions include a change in breathing patterns (i.e. heavy breathing or catching our breath), dry throat, and an increase in swallowing. A few other more visible signs may be a red face and stuttering.

If you experience internal or external physical symptoms such as these or others, these ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) will help you further explore these signs.
Considering a conflict situation in which you experienced internal or physical symptoms of dissension, what were those signs?
How may you describe your experience of these, including the impact on you?
To what do you attribute your specific reactions?
What are the signs expressing that you are not verbalizing?
What keeps you from verbalizing these things?
Which of your reactions do you think are not evident to the other person? What signs do you think are evident to the other person?
How may the other person interpret the signs being observed?
When you observe such signs in someone else, how do you interpret them?
If you would like to stop internal processing of your dispute through your body, face, and other physical ways, what may help you do so?
What difference will that make if you stop doing so?
What other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add here?


Cinnie Noble

Cinnie Noble is a certified coach (PCC) and mediator and a former lawyer specializing in conflict management coaching. She is the author of two coaching books: Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY™ Model and Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide You. MORE >

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