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Manual > 9 - Parenting Issues > List of Issues

List of Parenting Issues

A. Legal Custody Label, Primary Residence

B. Time-Sharing Plan
1. Overall Intentions and Guidelines
2. Weekly Schedule
3. Summer Vacation
4. Halloween (Trick or Treating; Costume)
5. Veteran's Day
6. Thanksgiving Day/Weekend
7. Hanukkah
8. Winter Break
a. Christmas Eve/Day
b. New Year's Eve/Day
9. Martin Luther King Day
10. President's Day
11. Spring Break
12. Easter
13. Mother's Day/Father's Day
14. Memorial Day/Weekend
15. Independence Day
16. Labor Day/Weekend
17. Children's Birthdays (Day; Party)
18. Parent's Birthdays
19 Other Three-Day Weekends Resulting from School/Legal Holidays
20. Guidelines for Flexible Time
a. initiated by a parent
b. initiated by a child
21. Holiday Schedule Supersede Weekend Schedule

C. Transportation & Responsibility for Meals
1. Sharing transportation within ___ miles w/o renegotiating
2. For sharing time with parents
3. For medical appointments, extracurriculars, school attendance
4. Who has responsibility for feeding children when exchanges occur
at meal times

D. Prompt Exercise of Time with Child
1. Arrangements when a parent is ill
2. Arrangements when a child is ill
3. Calling ahead if vary exchange by more than __ minutes

E. Parental Decision Making

1. Making an effort to work together
2. Major life decisions
a. Children's Residence
b. Education
c. Health care providers and procedures
d. Spiritual training
e. Upbringing
i. Extracurriculars that are dangerous
ii. Extracurriculars that need both parents
iii. Haircuts, perms, coloring, tattoos, piercing
3. Day-to-day decisions
4. Address for school records
5. Address for medical records
6. Future conflict resolution process (See "W")

F. Parental Communications
1. As needed? Scheduled? When? How?
2. Not discussing difficult issues in front of children
3. Discussion ground rules to avoid arguments
4. Winning cooperation

G. Communicating with a Child
1. At parent's initiative:
a. Unlimited/Limited
b. Reasonable hours
2. At child's initiative:
a. Unlimited/Limited
b. Long-distance charges

H. Fostering Affection and Respect
1. Access to other parent, extended family members
2. Not estranging children from other parent
3. Refraining from arguing, making derogatory comments about other
parent
4. Not discussing the financial settlement of the divorce with the
children
5. Not blaming the other parent for the divorce to the children

I. Substitute Child Care
1. Other parent to have first option if child care needed in excess of
__ hours
2. Responding to request within __ hours
3. If parent not available then who:
a. Mutually-acceptable child care providers or
b. Alternate child care at parent's discretion
4. Financial responsibility for child care

J. Health and Well Being
1. Stability and continuity
a. Same routines (bed and meal times)
b. Same expectations (chores, homework, discipline, diet,
hygiene)
c. Cooperative and unified parenting response
2. Discipline
3. Notification of intent to take child out of state
4. Not using a child to relay a message to other parent
5. Not asking child about personal life of other parent
6. Not asking child to keep a secret from the other parent
7. Not using a child as a confidante or depending on child for
emotional support
8. Seeking input from children while ensuring children understand it
is parent's responsibility to determine what is best for children
9. Responsibility for annual medical/dental examinations
10. Safety devices: driving, bicycling, boating
11. Violence
12. R-rated movies
13. Alcohol and drug use when child is present
14. Second-hand smoke
15. Guns and other arms
16. Changing the children's names
17. Calling another adult "Mom" or "Dad"
18. Child's sleeping arrangements
19. Introducing the child to a new partner

K. Children's Possessions
1. Books, toys, clothes, pets
2. Exchanged between households? Redistribute as needed?
3. Kept in separate households?
4. Packing and returning children's possessions
5. Needs for special clothing, equipment for particular activity.

L. Access to Information from Schools and Care Providers

M. Financial Responsibility for Child's Expenses
1. Child Support
2. Housing, food, clothing, utilities
3. Work-related child care
4. Extraordinary expenses: sports, equipment, lessons, major clothing
purchases, school supplies, trips
5. Review (if income, time, expenses change)

N. Educational Expenses (college, private school)

O. Life Insurance (to help raise children if parent becomes deceased)
1. Amount
2. Beneficiary

P. Agreement to Make a Will
1. Percent of Net Estate to the Children?
2. Legal Guardians

Q. Health Insurance

R. Uninsured Health Care Expenses

S. Gifts to Children

T. Dependent Deductions and Head of Household Filing

U. Future Conflict Resolution Process
1. Direct negotiation
2. Gathering information; seeking second opinions
3. Mediation
4. Child development specialist as (binding or nonbinding) arbitrator

V. Future Review of Parenting Arrangements
1. How often? Annually? Biannually?
2. Remarriage or Cohabitation of Either Parent
3. Change in Employment Schedule
4. Accident/Disability to a Parent
5. Family Emergency
6. Child's Adjustment/Developmental Needs
7. Child's Request
8. Upon recommendation of child's teacher, counselor
9. Moving further than __ miles from other parent



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