Menu

Close
Find Mediators Near You:
HOME
Search

Dealing with Your Ex’s New Other

author
By
Allison Pescosolido
September 20, 2013

Divorce Detox blog by Allison Pescosolido M.A.

    • For many, some sort of relationship with your ex exists beyond divorce. Whether you have children, business interests, or other things in common after divorce, you may have to confront a new love interest in your ex’s life. Below are five tips to help you interact with the new other and maintain your personal integrity.
    • Accept and Move On: The first step in maintaining a relationship with the new person in your ex’s life is to accept that your marriage has ended and acknowledge that both of you are moving on. Release yourself from the past to find peace in the present.
    • Act with Integrity: Make kindness your language. If you find your temperature rising, excuse yourself and take a breather. You cannot take back anything said in anger or from cruelty. Often, children will be watching. Act as a role model of good behavior.
    • Maintain Boundaries: As your relationship grows, maintain boundaries with the new person in your ex’s life. You don’t need to discuss details your relationships (past and present). Keep to safe, cordial topics.

      Use a Buffer: For family gatherings and holidays you might want to bring a friend to be by your side. This person will help keep things amicable and cool while you adapt to your new normal.

    • Experiment with Having Fun: This might not be what you expected, but it’s the life you have. Have fun and enjoy those in your life for all of their positive traits. When you get too negative about any one person, list a few things that are good about them. Shape your own thinking.
                            author

    Allison Pescosolido

    Allison Pescosolido, M.A. is a relationship expert with a Masters in Psychology, from the University of Santa Monica, undergraduate degrees in Economics, Urban Studies and Public Policy from Boston University and is a certified Grief Recovery Specialist® by The Grief Recovery Institute. Allison has helped thousands of men and women transform their lives through major… MORE >

    • Featured Mediators

    ad
    View all
    Dana Curtis Mediating with Adult Families Online Training
    Your Banner on Mediate.com

    Read these next

    Category

    A Lovely Story That Explains How We Manage Our Feelings …

    CMP Resolution Blog by Lesley Allport and Katherine Graham.Once there was a very small person who had feelings. They had many feelings and felt them every day. Their family liked...

    By Katherine Graham
    Category

    Scotland And The UK Negotiate A New Arrangement?

    “In a joint statement issued yesterday by the Leader of the House of Commons at Westminster and the Presiding Officer of the Scottish Parliament it was announced that negotiations had...

    By John Sturrock
    Category

    Conflict Resolution Meets Social Technology A New App Offers New Ways of Navigating Disagreements When Power Matters

    Most of what you have learned about conflict resolution is often wrong. Or at least it’s ineffective in the workplace between people with unequal power. We have been conducting conflict...

    By Peter T. Coleman, Robert Ferguson
    ×