Conflict Resolution Readiness

So often we embark on a difficult communication or react to a conflict situation by trying to discuss it before the other person is ready. At times, we may not really be ready either but, we are anxious to resolve matters sooner than later, to get past the high emotions, to make amends and so on. These and other reasons compel many of us to dive in prematurely to try to talk things out. On the other hand, sometimes we tend to wait too long before we reach out and find our efforts are perceived as ‘too little too late’, despite our good intentions.

These considerations work both ways, of course, and poor timing, whether too early or too late, has an impact on how amenable the other person or we will be to having a conversation about resolving a conflict situation. In either case, contemplating how and when and whether to discuss an incident takes some reflection. This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog invites you to think about one situation when you approached the other person when you realized it was too early and one when it was too late.

  • When you approached the other person before they were ready, what happened?
  • How did you determine the timing?
  • When another person has ever approached you to discuss the conflict between you before you were ready, what did you experience?
  • Generally, what are the risks for reaching out before the other person is ready?
  • When you approached the other person in a situation and they said it was too late, what happened?
  • How did you determine the timing here?
  • If another person has approached you when it feels like it is too late after a conflict situation, how was that for you?
  • What are the general risks in reaching out too late?
  • What needs to be in place for you to know when you are ready to have a conflict conversation?
  • What ‘best practices’ do you think may help to determine what timing works most effectively for you and the other person in your conflicts?
  • What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
  • What insights do you have?

Cinnie Noble

Cinnie Noble is a certified coach (PCC) and mediator and a former lawyer specializing in conflict management coaching. She is the author of two coaching books: Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY™ Model and Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide You. MORE

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