Conflict Can Lead to a Heavy Heart

Conflict
Management Blog
by Cinnie Noble

Since the 1300s the adjective heavy – referring to the heart – has been used in the sense of “weighed down with grief or sadness”.

Having a ‘heavy heart’ is a vivid expression that most of us can relate to for different reasons. For instance, when our hearts are heavy, as a consequence of conflict, whether we experience sadness, loss, anger or other emotions, there is an immobilizing sense that we are unable to move on. We might feel we are at a standstill that precludes us from thinking clearly, making decisions, problem-solving and so on.

This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog invites you to consider a time you had a ‘heavy heart’ after a conflict.

  • What was the incident that led you to having a ‘heavy heart’?
  • What specifically resulted in that feeling?
  • If you were to put a weight on the heaviest you feel in pounds/kg, what would that be?
  • What is the heaviest part of that (your answer to the previous question)?
  • If you were to begin to shed some of the weight, which feelings, part of the incident, etc. would you be able to let go of?
  • What do you supposed you would hold onto longest in the heaviness you are experiencing?
  • Why is that (your answer to the previous question)?
  • What do you gain by holding onto the heaviness?
  • What amount of heaviness (in pounds/kg) would you feel if the heaviness was eased for you to be able to move on in peace? What would help – at this point in time – to ease the heavy feelings do you think (if you want to do so)?
  • If heaviness in your heart has lifted at all, what facilitated that?
  • What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
  • What insights do you have?
                        author

Cinnie Noble

Cinnie Noble is a certified coach (PCC) and mediator and a former lawyer specializing in conflict management coaching. She is the author of two coaching books: Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY™ Model and Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide You. MORE >

Featured Mediators

ad
View all

Read these next

Category

Seasoned Mediator Interview – Anthony Jackson

TV Toastmasters features interesting interviews with fascinating people. In this episode Beth Genly discusses dispute resolutions with Anthony Jackson, Alternative Dispute Resolution Specialist on 9/2/2019.

By Anthony Jackson
Category

Armed Conflict and Sexual Assault

Sending this in complete from Paris, noting that women, who hold civil society together in the course of armed conflict, are rarely at the table when peace is being negotiated. ...

By Victoria Pynchon
Category

Embracing Imperfection: One Aspect of Eastern Philosophy that Strengthens the Mediator

Modern psychology is rich with a tradition of mechanistic reductionism.  In this tradition, phenomena are broken down into metaphysical properties and grounded in theory, and is later translated into therapeutic...

By Joshua Neuder

Find a Mediator

X
X
X