Comments: Becoming A Better Mediator By Mediating Your Inner Dialogue

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John Cabral, Chicago IL  realresolution@sbcglobal.net     02/26/10
this really helped
This article strongly contributed to my understanding and clarity about mediation and about my own self. I helped me to see the following recommendations: a) I am more effective if I intervene in a conflict feeling “inner peace and centeredness”; therefore, it’s important for me to address the “warring voices within” my own self, in general in my life and before I go into help others in a conflict situation b) that if I have very tough internal problems I can enlist the support of others in my circle of my friends or family or colleagues, and I can create a role-play for two opposing inner “voices” that get mediated by a third party; I’m going to try this! c) that the “ease, peace and self-connected awareness that comes from resolution” of my internal conflicts will increase my confidence and effectiveness in interacting with others d) that after an intervention I can do an empathic de-briefing where I first assess what I liked about the role I played and what I see was a contribution that helped all of the parties; and then I address any judgmental or critical ideas that are coming to me by looking at the ways in which what I said did not meet my own needs for contribution and supporting others and could have been done differently e) and that I can then rehearse how I will attempt to communicate with the parties in the next session and express any regrets I may have about my own words f) the rehearsal idea is wonderful: I can sometimes, in pre-mediation, or in a separate meeting with one of the parties to a conflict, ask them to rehearse and role-play with me in order to practice the kind of communication we think can lead to a connection that will allow for resolution This made my day. Thank you Lassiter, Kinyon and Stiles!