Comments: Our Culture of Conflict: Snorts and Retorts of an Untamed Brat

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Frank Laney    06/29/05
Loved your article. I must share my health club incident. I was a member of the local YMCA for years. They had no policy on bringing gym bags into the weight room, but no one ever did and they did provide free lockers. To do a stretch for my back, I need to sit with my back against a wall, legs out in front. Due to windows, doors, mirrors and equipment, in the entire 2 room weights area, there was only about 3 feet of available wall space for me to stretch. Sometimes I had to wait, but that was OK. One day there was a gym back had been dropped by that wall space. I looked around, saw no one near by, moved it a few feet down the wall and sat down. The owner came over, barked at me for messing with his stuff, I pointed out that I needed the wall and he should not have a bag in here anyway. He then offered to go out in the parking lot to discuss it further. I left. On the way out, I complained to the staff, as I do not go to the Y to receive offers to get beat up. The kind, sensitive staff person counselled me that I should not have moved the jerk's stuff. Thus, presumably, he was justified in offering to beat my head in.

Diane    06/24/05
Strategic Tantrums
I had to react to the last paragraph of your excellent article. My father died May 25 after a long cancer fight, and his last two days were spent in a Hospice facility. They were so unresponsive and callous to him and our family that it evoked temper tantrums from me and other family members who are not (as I am) tantrum-prone. It certainly did positively influence the care he ultimately received, but as my mother said, if it takes a temper tantrum from a grown woman to get it done, you go girl. They consider you crazy and do what you say only to shut you up. They could NEVER be responsible, could they? I enjoyed your article, thank you.