I have shaken my magic 8 ball and it landed on Conflict Coaching. Some of you may say nothing “futuristic” about that I've been doing that for years. I believe it may be used in private practice, but not in community centers.
We were all trained to be aware of “what's in our bags” or to phrase it differently, what each person brings to the table. Then we’re told you must not bring anything to the table but the ability to listen and ask open-ended questions.
You may have heard the phrase hair trigger temper referring to someone who reacts strongly when angry. As an adjective hair trigger has been described to mean “easily activated or set off; reacting immediately to the slightest provocation or cause”.
(9/02/14)Stephanie West Allen
Over the years, I have learned that people reading this blog come from a wide range of belief systems, including atheist, agnostic, and those involved to large or small degree in various spiritual and religious practices. Although this blog post to which I am linking today is written by a Christian and part of the post is from a Christian perspective, I think anyone can learn from this article.
From 9/11/2001 to 9/11/2013, approximately the same amount of Americans died in the workplace due to violence as did American soldiers overseas fighting terrorists. Bullying, stress, domestic disputes, and other considerations account for this. Some researchers have suggested a new mental condition, similar to PSTD, called PTED which workers may exhibit. Out of control catabolic (harmful) conflict poses a serious problem for both businesses and workers. This two-part series looks into this issue and suggests how ADR practitioners can work with other various professionals to better help businesses make the workplace safer and more productive.
For mediators, disaster aftermath mediation is an interesting and very rewarding kind of conflict resolution. Not your bread and butter or law school style mediation, but one with the potential to help.
For a variety of reasons, mediators-in-training are finding it is helpful to supplement their existing training with online role-plays. Online Mediation Training participants, or those transitioning to mediation while working or studying full-time, will appreciate the ease and convenience of conducting their mediation role-plays, debriefs, and feedback online.
If you are contemplating a divorce or having trouble settling divorce issues with your spouse, mediation might be the best choice. Mediation is a great setting for you and your spouse to settle your divorce issues in a more amicable fashion with less stress on you and other family members, including your children. Being able to settle issues quickly helps children and other family members adjust to the situation as well.
Often it is the little things that annoy people. People can jump to conclusions and attribute them to either a person or other circumstances. People have attribution biases, or their own way of seeing the world and this article helps readers understand what the common attributions are and how they can overcome them. These tips can help improve relationships in the workplace, in the community and family.
I am pleased to be part of the five year Sustainable Cities Partnership that MIT just initiated with the Universiti of Teknologi Malaysia (UTM), Malaysia' #1 Engineering and Science School. More about the Partnership below.
This interview of Pattie Porter by Dave Hilton of the Conflict Specialists Show addresses such issues as conflict coaching; CINERGY conflict coach training; workplace conflict; the value of joining professional coaching and dispute resolution organizations; branding and networking when you have a coaching business; and more.
The recent death of US negotiation guru Roger Fisher reminds Tony Dempsey of old confrontations and lessons learned in how to achieve creative outcomes. As he learned from Roger Fisher, “parties should focus on their own interests and developing creative options that meet those interests."
A workplace dispute between two colleagues has created an issue which is affecting their colleagues and the business. This video shows a real example interviewing the owner, both employees, and their mediator. They reflect on the process and how mediating has changed their business.
The grievance process should be confidential and no-one outside the parties and those managing the issue should be aware of it; but these things can be subject of office gossip and, if so, then it is likely the fact that it has not been upheld will also go round the gossip circle!
In-house mediation services are growing in number and the successful ones build on firm foundations. CMP Resolutions has developed a comprehensive Guide (Linked at the bottom of the page) to help you think through the essential questions to ensure your mediation service is set up for success. We know that Organisations that have addressed these questions in advance become those where mediation is widely used, has the highest agreement rate and a continuing impact on employee engagement and fewer grievances and discipliniaries.
The ease and flexibility of the mediation process, the unique qualities of trained mediators and the high success rate of mediation in the past proves that mediation is the perfect answer for resolving various disputes in sports.
(7/09/12)Stephanie West Allen
Power and money both act on the brain's reward system, which if over-stimulated for long periods develops appetites that are difficult to satisfy, just as is the case for drug addiction. We call these appetites greed and greedy people are never satisfied. That is the challenge for politicians and regulators.
In Cullen v. Corwin, (Case No. C067861) ( Cullen v Corwin) Plaintiffs Joe and Marienne Cullen purchased a vacation home from Defendants Paul and Geraldine Corwin. They claimed that the Corwins “…acted either negligently or fraudulently in failing to disclose the defective condition of the garage roof when they sold a vacation home to the Cullens.” (Id. at 2.).
The immediate benefit of taking the TKI assessment and reviewing your results (which includes a personalized report with the online version of the assessment) is awareness. You learn which conflict modes you might be using too much, usually out of habit, and which ones you might be using too little—since you’ve not been exposed to the many positive uses of your underutilized modes. Although gaining awareness is the decisive Step 1, these four additional steps must be taken to improve how you actually behave in conflict situations so you and other people will be more satisfied and your organization will be more successful.
Suddenly it comes to you; that great idea that solves a tough problem or helps the company move to the next level, or just make everyone’s job a little easier. Your thought is innovative, well-presented, and then, yikes!, ripped off.
Tackling bullying may involve a counter-intuitive approach. While naming and shaming may leave us feeling morally superior, it might also produce ever more subtle forms of bullying. This article argues that we need to encourage those of us who feel like kicking butts to ‘come in from the cold’.
Below is a list of 60 simple tasks that you can get started on this week. These are designed to be simple tasks that you can do to market your arbitration or mediation practice. It is an excerpt from The Peace Talks Marketing Book.
As a mediation coach, my mantra is “Mediation can be one of the most important days of your life. The decisions made that day can affect you and your family for the rest of your lives.”
There is no “right” or “wrong” type of mediation style. Effective mediators can be helpful in almost any setting, regardless of their predominant style. But resolution of different types of dispute can be enhanced by the selection of the best style of mediator to match the participants and the conflict.
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Most mediators I know are passionate about their work and about bringing peace to the world. We like to think of ourselves as “peacemakers” and that our goal is to assist others in resolving disputes. Consequently, we may not always focus on the fact that mediation is a business or that, in fact, we are “peacemakers for hire.” Like others, we need to be paid so that we, too, can pay our rent or mortgage, put food on the table and provide for our kids (or, in my case- my dog, Argus.)