Patricia Porter

Patricia Porter

Patricia "Pattie" Porter, LCSW, ACC, is the Founder and President of Conflict Connections, Inc. in San Antonio, TX. She provides workplace conflict resolution services including conflict management and abrasive behavior coaching, EEO and workplace mediation, change management and team facilitation, and training throughout the U.S. She is the Founder of the Texas Conflict Coach with a 325 podcast library on a variety of conflict resolution topics.

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Articles and Video:

Beyond Mediation: Conflict Coaching (08/12/21)
Conflict coaching, also known as conflict management coaching, is a one on one process in which a trained coach supports clients to strengthen their conflict competence, including their confidence and comfort to engage more effectively in their interpersonal disputes. This process may also be used for pre-mediation to prepare parties to participate more effectively in the mediation process or to prepare for any facilitated dialogue/discussion.

Deescalating Verbal Attacks (10/26/20)
After 28 years of marriage, you wouldn’t be surprised to hear me say my husband I and get into arguments, at times.

Verbal Self-Defense Begins with a Mindset of Compassion and Empathy (04/24/20)
What does it mean to learn the art of verbal self-defense? First, it means understanding the purpose and establishing a mindset behind this approach.

Verbal Self-Defense Begins with a Mindset of Compassion and Empathy (12/06/19)
What does it mean to learn the art of verbal self-defense?

Changing the Way I Handle Verbal Attacks (10/04/19)
One of my personal challenges is how to deflect and master my in-the-moment reactions to verbal attacks.

Verbal Self-Defense Begins with a Mindset of Compassion and Empathy (08/02/19)
With Aikido, practitioners learn how to defend without harm to themselves and the attacker.

What Challenging Workplace Behavior Are You Dealing with in the New Year? (03/22/19)
For the past year, Conflict Connections and MH Mediate have been developing a set of resources to help people address the ten toughest behaviors at work – everything from gossip to bullying, harassment, and hostile work environments.

Free Expert Interviews for the 10 Toughest Behaviors at Work – Challenging Workplace Behavior Summit (11/12/18)
Whether it’s gossip, harassment, or time-sucking interruptions we have all encountered challenging behaviors in the workplace. Have you ever wished you knew what to do when they happened?

Listening to Your Triggers – How to Suspend Judgment When You Are Angry (02/02/18)
A hot button or trigger word can be words, a tone of voice, or a particular way someone conveys body language that sets you off.

Take Five! – How Adults Can Benefit From A Time Out (12/01/17)
The logic behind the time-out method is that if you remove the child from a fun surrounding when they do something wrong, then it will eliminate that behavior.

Conflict Chat: Challenges In Working In A Gig Economy - Audio (09/29/17)
Got Conflict? Are you a worker taking on short projects or “gigs?”

What Is Wrong With My Good Intentions? (09/14/17)
How do I make my intentions to be conflict competent a reality?

When Change Happens: Embracing The End First Before Starting Anew (07/07/17)
When a significant change in our life suddenly occurs, we experience a jolt. What’s going to happen next?

Mediation, Elder Abuse And Saving The Family: Mediation & Conflict Strategies To Avoid Elder Abuse (05/26/17)
As Americans are getting older, more and more issues arise relating to elder abuse in financial and health care settings. Studies show that the majority of abuse occurs within the family. What can be done to resolve these issues? Listen to a respected elder abuse mediator and author, Steve Mehta, and learn how to address these difficult issues.

My Story & Why I Got Started - Audioblog (04/07/17)
In this inaugural show, Pattie Porter connects with the audience by sharing her story of growing up in a high conflict family, and this led eventually to her work as a conflict management expert.

Renewing And Strengthening Relationships In The New Year (01/03/17)
As you enter 2017, reflect and commit to being intentional on the small gifts you can provide to strengthen, honor and acknowledge those important relationships in your life. Here are some ideas to consider.

How And Why To Avoid Political Talk At Work (10/21/16)
Are you sick of people discussing politics at work? Or are you one of those folks who can’t seem to stop talking about the candidates?

You Thought Your Marriage Was Miserable- Wait Till You Get To Court… (06/10/16)
The breakup of a marriage almost always involves some level of conflict between spouses, but the process of litigation during divorce ratchets that conflict up to a level of devastation for all members of the immediate and even extended family.

Stop Avoiding Conflict: Learn to Address Disputes Before They Erupt - Book Review (04/08/16)
Stop Avoiding Conflict: Learn to Address Disputes Before They Erupt, Pattie Porter's new Minibuk, expands the conflict territory by focusing on the sabotaging effect of conflict avoidance.

Laughing Through Conflict – Benefits of Infusing Humor into Your Relationship (03/31/16)
Humor and laughter can be a valuable tool for defusing the tension brought on by conflict.

Community Mediation: Empowerment and Dialogue (03/11/16)
In many communities around the country there are community mediation centers supported by volunteer mediators. Community Boards of San Francisco is the oldest community mediation center in the country, started in 1976.

The Need To Be Heard And Acknowledged, Is It Enough? (03/04/16)
You want to feel heard in a conflict. I believe it is also important that you have your feelings acknowledged when disputing with another.

Get Out Of MY Parking Spot! What To Do When You Get Triggered? (02/05/16)
An interesting conflict that occurs during snowfalls in Baltimore City is over parking spots. Thursday night before the storm commenced, residents began placing folding chairs and other miscellaneous furniture outside to reserve the spaces in front of their houses.

Control Addict – My Life As A Recovering Micromanager (01/15/16)
“Ab, stop micromanaging…” My husband Bernard cried out. I was badgering him with questions about when he would complete a project on our house.

New Year – New Beginnings – Better You (01/04/16)
I love New Years because I love the idea of a new beginning. I like many others’ like to make New Year resolutions. I determine what my intentions for the coming year will be by reflecting on where I fell short over the last twelve months.

The Conflict Pivot: Turning Conflict into Peace of Mind (12/11/15)
If you’ve been told not to take conflict personally, you only have half the story. Before you can do that, you have to take conflict more personally.

Want Better Work Team Conflict Management? Begin By Assessing “Conflict Climate” Online (11/13/15)
Why do old, dysfunctional patterns for handling conflict re-emerge and persist in the workplace, even after providing training, policies or procedures for resolving differences constructively? This vexing phenomenon—a return to the status quo–plagues conflict professionals and team leaders alike. This is a podcast with Michael Dues.

Become a Virtual Judge or Have Your Case Settled on the Net (10/12/15)
Brav is a new way for people of any age to find a solution to bullying, violence, and conflict. Find out why this is so important and join our guest, Remi Alli to learn how to settle family, school, and workplace disputes online.

Workplace Systemic Issues: Do Your Leaders Really Want to Know? (06/01/15)
Like many conflict resolution or ADR professionals who start as a mediator, it doesn’t take long before a mediator doing workplace cases in one organization begins to wonder about the organization’s culture, communication, or leadership skills. “If only the organization had better practices, the mediation (or coaching or training or group facilitation) wouldn’t be needed”, many have thought.

What Happens on the Bus, Shouldn’t Stay on the Bus! (09/02/14)
With the start of 2014-2015 school year in full swing, children across the country will be boarding the school bus to arrive before the morning bell sounds. According to the National Highway Safety Administration, school buses are the safest mode of transportation for getting children back and forth to school. But how safe is a child from the other children inside of the bus? School bus bullying is becoming a growing concern among parents, school administrations, and bus drivers. According to the U.S. Department of Education 10 percent of school bullying occurs on the school bus. defines bullying as “unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

AudioBlog: Animal Conflicts and Alternative Dispute Resolution (01/11/14)
In this episode, the co-speakers will introduce listeners to the subfield within Alternative Dispute Resolution of animal related conflicts. Debra Hamilton and Gary Norman will tell you the what, where and how to include animal related conflicts in to your practice and how you can use the full range of tools available to alternative dispute resolution practitioners to assist these parties find their own solution to such conflicts.

Breaking Bad: The Decision To Change Holiday Traditions (12/13/13)
Breaking away from family traditions during the holiday season can be difficult. Regardless of the reason or the explanation given to your family, friends or spouse, it rarely goes well. Why is that? The fact is that traditions are traditions for a reason.

AudioBlog: Truancy Mediation: What You Should Know? (08/16/13)
Learn about truancy and how mediation can be a valuable process for students, parents, and schools. You will learn about typical cases referred to our juvenile truancy mediation program and possible outcomes. We will discuss the benefits of truancy mediation as well as take away tips to prevent truancy.

Interview with Pattie Porter (04/29/13)
This interview of Pattie Porter by Dave Hilton of the Conflict Specialists Show addresses such issues as conflict coaching; CINERGY conflict coach training; workplace conflict; the value of joining professional coaching and dispute resolution organizations; branding and networking when you have a coaching business; and more.

AudioBlog: Transforming Difficult Decision Making In Elder Care Planning (04/22/13)
Families today are assuming responsibility for the informal care of over 75 percent of elderly family members and are often faced with difficult decisions from a bewildering array of choices: e.g. estate planning, financial issues, and guardianship. In the best of circumstances, this can be a stressful process and sometimes leads to disagreements, confusion, and conflict at a time when the best intentions of the family are to work together for the needs of a loved and respected aging family member.

AudioBlog: Elder Mediation: Family Disputes Over Caregiving (03/29/13)
When families are faced with the long-term care arrangements for their aging parents and relatives, feelings of resentment, anger and jealousy that have festered since childhood often create new problems as families learn to cope and prepare for the road ahead. Instead of working together, families can get stuck placing blame.

AudioBlog: Resistance is Fertile (02/15/13)
In Your Brain on Conflict series, we kick off with Scott Rogers, Founder and Director of the Institute for Mindfulness Studies. What happens in our brain when we are engaged in an emotionally-charged conflict? Neuroscience or brain science has emerged with answers that help us begin to understand the physiological, emotional, and cognitive impact on us in these types of situations.

AudioBlog: Becoming Conflict Competent: Your New Year’s Plan (01/04/13)
n today’s program, we are going to help you develop a plan for “Becoming Conflict Competent” in the new year. So, if you want to stop running away from those tense situations or maybe even curb your sharp or sarcastic tone when you are defending yourself, then listen in for a simple plan to help you change how you will deal with these conflict situations in the coming year. I am asking you to make 4 commitments on your journey to becoming conflict competent.

Over the Oceans and Through the Skies to Relatives' Houses We Go (12/21/12)
It is the beginning of the holiday season and with it comes all the hustle and bustle. There are many elements to the season however, before we can even think about that nice dinner and presents under the tree the feeling of being overwhelmed can surely set in. It doesn’t matter how old we get or how many holidays we celebrate for some people; family members make our celebration less than enjoyable. There are many people who dread this time of the year.

Beware of the Grinch – Holiday Considerations for the Global Workplace (11/16/12)
Every holiday season, workplaces around the country ponder whether to have their annual Christmas party and whether to decorate with all of the glitter and bows that accompanies the traditional American celebration. Employers’ stress and anxiety rises as they think of the potential conflict lurking around the Christmas tree…the Grinch.

AudioBlog: Tech For Better, Not For Worse: Online Dispute Resolution In Everyday Life (11/05/12)
Join us as two died-in-the-wool technology enthusiasts explore communication technology and conflict in our everyday lives. We’ll think together about some of the core principles that promote constructive conflict resolution across the interwebs and share examples of communication strategies that can either make or break online relationships.

AudioBlog: Mediate Don’t Litigate: Part One -The High Cost Of Going To Court (10/06/12)
Have you ever heard someone threaten “I’ll see you in court!”? If this has happened to you, or if you have ever thought of suing someone, join us to hear Stephen Kotev interview attorney and mediator Daniel Preston Dozier to find out how much litigation really costs, and the hidden pitfalls of actually taking someone to court.

AudioBlog: Women Don’t Ask: Why They Don’t, What They Lose (08/06/12)
Women Don't Ask: This podcast discusses why women are less likely to ask for a raise. It also discusses other benefits and skills that women under-utilize, or are uncomfortable using.

AudioBlog: Juneteenth (06/25/12)
The Diversity, Race and Conflict show series for June is brought to you in partnership with the Maryland Judiciary’s Mediation and Conflict Resolution Office (MACRO) in Maryland, and with great appreciation to Lou Gieszl and Cheryl Jamison for their dedication and passion to this topic.

So you Need to Mediate, HELP! Now what? (05/14/12)
We all have conflict in our lives, some disputes are more explosive and destructive than others. Maybe it is a long-term conflict with your neighbor over the property line, or a parenting plan has gone awry between you and your ex-spouse, or your business partners don't like how the business is run or being run down. In each of these potential scenarios, parties are stuck in a cycle of destruction and contribute to the escalation of the dispute. YOU need help. You have heard about mediation and think it might be worth getting help before things get completely out of control.

AudioBlog: Victim Offender Dialogue (04/30/12)
Barbara Raye will talk about the Restorative Justice practice of Victim Offender Mediation. VOM engages those who have been harmed by crime or other actions, those who have offended or harmed others, and the communities they live in. Its goals are to empower people to define their own needs for healing, prevent future harm, and build community connections for the long term health of everyone involved.

AudioBlog: Fairly Legal Returns (04/02/12)
March marks the return of Kate Reed and the second season of the USA network television show Fairly Legal. Kate continues to mediate disputes on the small screen between estranged lovers to large corporations. Two mediators discuss her cases in an audioblog.

AudioBlog: Name Calling (02/13/12)
Robert Fulghum, an American author, is quoted as saying “Sticks and stones will break our bones, but words will break our hearts” not to mention our spirits. Name calling, mudslinging, defaming and insulting words are all about impulsively responding to someone or something that is a threat to the beliefs, values or attitudes we hold dear.

AudioBlog: Transforming Conflict Through Forgiveness (12/05/11)
Forgiveness is a powerful tool for clients who are up against difficult, and seemingly insurmountable, conflicts. It creates a pathway from conflict to a deeper place of understanding and compassion.

AudioBlog: Forgiveness: The Gift You Give Yourself (11/07/11)
Holding on to resentment is like hauling around a red-hot coal with the intention of one day throwing it back at the one who hurt you. The coal burns not only your hands, but also your hearts.

AudioBlog: Eileen Dowse Shares the SOLVE Model for Resolving Conflict (10/10/11)
Patty Porter and her guest discuss how to SOLVE your conflict.

AudioBlog: What Gives Conflict A Bad Name? (09/12/11)
Differences and disagreements – we deal with them all the time. They are conflicts, though we don’t bother to label them as such. We listen and consider, we build solutions, we problem solve, and then we move on. Other times, something snaps – and we suddenly find ourselves standing in the middle of an ugly mess, arguing perhaps, or getting out of the room as quickly as possible. In this segment of the Texas Conflict Coach, we’ll consider what turns a simple disagreement into a conflict, and strategies to keep conflict at the lowest possible level.

AudioBlog: Sibling Rivalry (08/29/11)
Summer is ending and the school year draws near. Our kids have had lots of fun times together. Siblings can be the best of friends, but conflict and disagreements are also a natural part of their ever-changing relationships. We may not always realize it, but we have many ways to help our kids learn how to "fight fair" - to work out disagreements without punching or shouting.

AudioBlog: Restorative Practices: Can Ancient Traditions Of Accountability And Peacemaking Create Safer Schools Today (08/08/11)
Many schools need more practical and effective measures for ending violence and disruption and for promoting more cooperative behavior. Restorative Practices derive from indigenous cultures and are based on time-honored principles of respect, resolution and community.

Audio Blog: A Look Back at Hurricane Katrina (07/11/11)
A Look Back At Hurricane Katrina- A Radical New Role For Conflict Management Professionals

Audio Blog: I Shall Not Hate (06/19/11)
Dr. Abuelaish will talk about his education as a Palestinian becoming a doctor, his work at an Israeli hospital delivering babies and going back and forth over the border to Gaza, and the night that 3 of his daughters were killed in an Israeli attack on Gaza.

The Brain Science Behind Conflict Resolution (04/25/11)

Is Fairly Legal Fairly Relevant? (04/03/11)
In our Part 2 show, Is Fairly Legal Fairly Relevant?

Pattie Porter's Talk Radio blog (03/03/10)
Pattie Porter's Talk Radio blog discussing mediation topics with a variety of guests.

Maximizing Effective Participation (07/08/03)
This article examines the broader issues of party capacity or the ability for participants to be effective in their own mediation process. And, in order for the mediation process to have some evidence of success, great value should be placed on the pre-session planning process. In doing so, conveners can explore with disputants and guide them on how they might be the most effective participant.

Remarks From The ADA Editors (03/25/03)
A multitude of conflict situations from interpersonal disputes to work performance issues, EEO complaints and grievances abound in the workplace. Misperceptions, lack of knowledge, miscommunication, and attitudes surrounding employees with disabilities are also potential sources of workplace conflict and may compound the other typical conflict areas.


Challenging Workplace Behaviors - Streaming Video.