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<xTITLE>Bring Five Percent more Compassion to Conflicts</xTITLE>

Bring Five Percent more Compassion to Conflicts

by Lorraine Segal
September 2021

Conflict Remedy Blog by Lorraine Segal

Lorraine Segal

Bringing five percent more compassion can really make a difference in conflicts.

What would happen if you could bring just a little bit more compassion and love to conflicts and disagreements? I think you’d be amazed at the positive effect.

I’ve often talked with clients and students about the value of opening our hearts to compassion, empathy, and curiosity in conflicts.

 5% More

Recently,  I heard a presentation with Tina Quinn, an author and coach. One technique she used with clients, is to ask them to bring 5% more compassion or love to a difficult situation. She wasn’t speaking specifically about conflict, but I was struck with how useful this technique could be.

What could 5% more compassion and love look like in a conflict or difficult conversation?

  • 5% more breathing and pausing before responding rather than reacting.
  • 5% more listening with curiosity and empathy.
  • 5% more openness to their perspective.
  • 5% more checking that you’ve understood.
  • 5% more willingness to look at your contribution to the problem.
  • 5% more compassion for yourself as well.
  • 5% more willingness to let go and move on.

The special beauty of 5% more is that you are not being asked to be perfect, or to change completely: this is about progress not perfection.

Lorraine’s (gentle) challenge

What would your 5% more look like to help difficult situations right now?

If you try this out, I’d really like to hear your commitment and how it worked for you.


Lorraine Segal, M.A. is a Conflict Transformation Consultant, Coach, and Trainer. Through her own business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine works with leaders and others at corporations and non-profits as well as colleges, and governmental agencies to promote harmony, good communication, and productivity at work.

She is a contributing author to the book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying. Her latest project is a memoir called, Angels and Earthworms, about her life’s journey to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood in the conflict transformation field. For more information about Lorraine and her coaching, training, consulting services to read her blog, visit her website at For more information about her book, visit https;//

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