Bringing five percent more compassion can really make a difference in conflicts.
What would happen if you could bring just a little bit more compassion and love to conflicts and disagreements? I think you’d be amazed at the positive effect.
I’ve often talked with clients and students about the value of opening our hearts to compassion, empathy, and curiosity in conflicts.
Recently, I heard a presentation with Tina Quinn, an author and coach. One technique she used with clients, is to ask them to bring 5% more compassion or love to a difficult situation. She wasn’t speaking specifically about conflict, but I was struck with how useful this technique could be.
What could 5% more compassion and love look like in a conflict or difficult conversation?
- 5% more breathing and pausing before responding rather than reacting.
- 5% more listening with curiosity and empathy.
- 5% more openness to their perspective.
- 5% more checking that you’ve understood.
- 5% more willingness to look at your contribution to the problem.
- 5% more compassion for yourself as well.
- 5% more willingness to let go and move on.
The special beauty of 5% more is that you are not being asked to be perfect, or to change completely: this is about progress not perfection.
Lorraine’s (gentle) challenge
What would your 5% more look like to help difficult situations right now?
If you try this out, I’d really like to hear your commitment and how it worked for you.