It is said and proven that when a child is born to unmarried parents, the child would most likely remain and be cared for by the mother. Unfortunately, some unmarried parents try to have no dealings with the other parent after a breakup leaving children feeling incomplete or worse, depressed.
One of the most important things for us is to preserve the family knowledge, from the mother’s side, as well as the father’s side, for the future of our children.
- Health – Can be at the top of the list. Imagine your child going through life without knowing what physical or psychological issues runs in the family.
- Marriage – This is a less likely scenario and the chances may be slim. However, imagine your child growing up not knowing if they have brothers, sisters or cousins. Or, finding that the special love of their life turns out to be a sibling or close relative.
- Disappointment and Embarrassment – It is your week to have the children. You are getting ready for work and the children are still asleep. There is a knock on the door, it is the sheriff because you missed a few child support payments. Your children are witnessing their parent being escorted out of the home in handcuffs.
- Unsettled Breakups – These breakups may be serious, especially when children are involved. Unsettled matters that are not resolved usually end up being discussed between parents in an angry and aggressive tone, at times in front of the children. We must be aware of the negative effects these angry or aggressive discussions can have on the children. Children have feelings, some hide it better than others.
- Child Support Issues - Both parents have a financial responsibility in raising a child. Unmarried parents who are going through a breakup may find it difficult to care for a child that was not planned for. Child support issues are the main reason breakups can be unsettling between unmarried parents, in situations like this, mediation would be the best option.
- Parenting Time - Although child support helps children financially get through their childhood years, spending quality time with children is far more valuable than any dollar amount. Both parents have the right to be in the lives of their shared children. A mother cannot deny the right for a child to see his/her father, and vice versa unless other factors are involved in the situation. Being involved in a child’s life gives them the confidence and structure to move on to adulthood easily and responsibly. Keeping a cordial and respectful relationship even after a breakup can greatly benefit the children.
At times, unmarried parents in the middle or end of a breakup have little or no knowledge of child support and parent planning, they find themselves stressed out, and struggling to care for the children alone. Mediation can help guide unmarried parents through negotiating an equitable parenting plan and child support issues in an informal and respectable structure without litigation.
Save yourself and your children from the stress and embarrassment of litigation.
Make your own decisions and stick to it for the children.