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<xTITLE>Valentines Day and Divorce</xTITLE>

Valentines Day and Divorce

by Marian Grande
February 2021 Marian Grande

Valentine’s Day;  the most romantic day of the year.  Some love it, some hate it, but you cannot deny that Valentine’s Day is synonymous with love, affection, adoration, chocolates, and flowers.  

Interestingly, a law firm out of Crossville, Tennessee is giving away a divorce to a winner of their Valentine’s Day contest.  The Powers Law Firm says, “Valentine’s Day, to some, is a reminder that they are trapped in a marriage that they cannot afford to get out of, or for some other reason.”  

Why?  

Perhaps to some the best Valentine’s Day gift is that of divorce.  Valentine’s Day reminds an unhappy couple all the reasons they dislike each other.  Being locked up with each other during a pandemic does not help much either.

To some, those feelings of an undying and a forever love that you experienced in the weeks leading up to and including your wedding day have long faded.  To some, the bumps along the way were simply bumps they could not get over as a couple.  To some, the issues they faced in their marriage are just too painful to bare.  Enter … divorce (sadly).

A lot of people remain unhappily married because of financial reasons, including they cannot afford a divorce.  Lawyers are expensive, even junior lawyers.  Not to mention the large retainer you need to come up with in advance of any work being done.  Being tied up for years in the courts is another deterrent.

Alternative dispute resolution such as mediation is an extremely quicker process that affords both parties a settlement without court involvement, and without having to pay for feuding lawyers.  Parties can easily save up to 75% on legal fees alone.  A court process can take as long as ten years to resolve.  Mediation normally resolves in under 9 months.  Make it easier on yourself and avoid a bitter court battle.

Whether or not the divorce is wanted, you will likely experience feelings of loneliness and feelings like nobody will ever love you again.  Divorce is a grieving process whether it is done through courts or mediation.  

Valentine’s Day does not help matters any.

Keep in mind, that it is just one day.  Try to remember that this one day is just one step closer to resolving your divorce.

If your marriage is falling apart and you are unhappy, one of the most loving ways you can treat yourself is to end it gracefully.  Walking away with your head held high.  Going through a non-adversarial divorce process will help in more ways than you think.

Self-care and self-love are important to the healing process.  Take some you time.

Although during the pandemic it is difficult, if not impossible to go away on a vacation.  Instead, take a long drive through the country.  Get back in touch with nature.  Go for a nature walk.  Feel the energy the earth is giving you.  Embrace it.

Sometimes, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to unplug.  Take a night to completely remove yourself from social media and all the love posts that you know will pop up on this day.  Out of sight, out of mind mentality.

Do your nails, colour your hair, sit in the bath and relax the night away.

You need to give yourself time to heal.  Take each day as it comes.  There is no right or wrong way to deal with your emotions.  And although cupid’s day can make it more difficult, it can also be a new day to turn over a new leaf; a new life.  Love yourself first with all your imperfections.  Live your dreams. Be happy with you, and the rest will surely fit into place at the right time.

Biography


Marian Grande is a Mediator and Founder of Absolute Dispute Resolution.

By combining positive communication techniques with her knowledge of family law, civil litigation and legal processes, Marian helps parties solve their own problems and reach lasting agreements that are conducive to all parties involved in a dispute.

Marian has over sixteen (16) years legal experience as a Law Clerk in both family law and civil litigation, handling files from beginning to end independently.

She completed her Law Clerk studies at Humber College with honours, and further completed her Mediation studies focusing on family law and civil litigation at Herzing College with high honours.

Marian is the founder of Absolute Dispute Resolution. She is a member in good standing with the Alternative Dispute Resolution Institute of Ontario (ADRIO) and the Alternative Dispute Resolution Institute of Canada (ADRIC).



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