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<xTITLE>Divorce Noise</xTITLE>

Divorce Noise

by Denise French
January 2021

Divorce Done Differently by Denise French

Denise French

Over the years I have been doing divorce financial advising, I’ve learned so much from women just like you. It’s so normal for us to ask questions and want information from those who have already been through this overwhelming time in our lives.

I remember talking with my friends (many of whom had been divorced) and wanting them to understand how my experiences left me feeling afraid and alone. I wanted to compare my story to theirs. I wanted to not feel so alone. After so many calls and conversations, I’ve made lists and lists of what I’ve heard being said and I want to share some key takeaways with you. I hope it will help you “cut through the divorce noise.”

1. You don’t need to listen to people who don’t know what’s best for you.

Some well-meaning friends and family want you to quit worrying about everything you’ve got on your mind and “just get back out there.” If you’re not ready, then take it easy. You’ll be ready when you’re ready. There’s a huge, new world waiting for you when you’re ready!

2. Try to separate the emotional part of your journey from the business of divorce.

There are so many ups and downs and it’s important that you have emotional support so that you have a safe place to deal with all of the feelings you’re experiencing.  That is the value of a coach or therapist.

3. One of the biggest issues women tell me is that they’re afraid.

Honestly, who isn’t afraid? It means you’re human, but it doesn’t mean you’re not going to be OK. Your fear can actually move you forward and push you to learn new things that you never dreamed you could learn.

4. Feeling lonely isn’t the same as being alone.

The reason some women don’t want to divorce is because they’re afraid of being alone. But the truth is that so many of us were lonely in our marriages! When I talk with women who are divorced, they actually like being alone and just being able to do whatever they want whenever they want!

5. Wanting to find all the answers online.

Many women tell me they are getting all their information online. While I do suggest you read about different options for divorce, for example, I don’t recommend you keep digging deeper and deeper trying to find the answers to all of your concerns. Again, that is where you can get in trouble with inaccurate information. It can lead you to doubt and waste time questioning what is true and correct in this process.

6. If you’re feeling so tired, hurt, and damaged emotionally right now, I’ve learned that so many of you are going to find love again!

Even if you’re not even interested right now, after you’ve worked on the role you may have played in the divorce, it may surprised to find that you’re interested in something new and healthier. It’s human nature to want connection with others. So give yourself time to figure out who you want to show up as now on a deeper level and you will attract what you need.

Don’t Give Up

I want you to know you’re not alone and we all have worries and fears. If I had to summarize what I’ve learned through the “divorce noise” is that we all struggle. But there is light at the end of the tunnel – it just can be a long tunnel and the light can seem so far away, but don’t give up.

Biography


Denise founded Divorce Strategies Group in 2014. Divorce Strategies Group was incepted because of her own ugly divorce in 2007. Denise desired to create a firm where others could have a better divorce experience, and to help other children not face the trauma her own child experienced. She helps other walk through the divorce process in a dignified, confident manner.

Denise is a Certified Valuation Analyst® (CVA®), a Master Analyst in Financial Forensics® (MAFF®), a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®), a Family and Child Custody Mediator and trained as a Collaborative Law Financial Expert. Denise focuses on the areas of divorce finance, divorce tax, separate property tracing, executive compensation in divorce, pension plans, expert witness testimony as well as the emotional aspects of divorce.

Denise also founded French Financial Group in 2012. Prior to French Financial Group, Denise worked as a regional sales executive for large investment and insurance firms. She has over 22 years of experience in financial planning, investment positioning, and income strategies. She currently provides full-service financial planning, investment placement and insurance as an Investment Advisor Representative (IAR) under French Financial Group. Denise is also a Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor (CRPC).



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