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<xTITLE>From Fear and Avoidance to Love and Trust: Transforming Your Relationship with Money.</xTITLE>

From Fear and Avoidance to Love and Trust: Transforming Your Relationship with Money.

by Lorraine Segal
February 2015

Conflict Remedy Blog by Lorraine Segal

Lorraine Segal

Looking back, my needs around money have always been met. But it didn’t feel that way to me at all. I bounced between vagueness, avoiding concrete information or action about money, and terror, that I would be destitute and never have enough.

Ten years ago, I decided I didn’t want to live like that any more. I knew that this vagueness and terror about money were crippling me. I had worked to heal other issues in my life, and now I recognized that all my beliefs and fears about money were keeping me from living a serene and joyous life.

With a lot of support and both spiritual and practical tools, I began a journey to heal my relationship with money.

The first step for me was uncovering what my (unconscious) attitudes and beliefs about money were. I couldn’t make any positive changes until I became aware of what beliefs and memories were driving my behavior.

It took a while, but I came to understand that at a core level, I believed there never was or could be enough money to keep me safe. Some of this I absorbed from my parents, who absorbed it from their own parents. I also believed that I didn’t really deserve money and that “nice girls” shouldn’t care about money.

With a lot of guidance and hard work, I saw that these beliefs were not true and didn’t have to run my life any more. I began to replace them with more affirming beliefs about love and abundance and to take practical steps to replace vagueness with clarity and terror with trust.

As I’ve healed this issue more for myself, I seem to be attracting clients who need help and support to heal beliefs and behavior and conflicts around money, as well as letting go, communicating better, and resolving conflict in other areas of their lives.

This healing has also led me to Donna Colfer, an amazing woman and financial counselor. We’ve started offering classes and workshops together and clients seem really respond to the synergy in our work together.

Ten years ago, I never dreamed I would be putting my conflict resolution and forgiveness work together with my money journey, but it is another aspect of beauty and abundance unfolding in my life!


Lorraine Segal, M.A. is a Conflict Management and Communication Consultant, Coach, and Trainer. Through her own business, Conflict Remedy, Ms. Segal works with corporations and non-profits as well as governmental entities and individuals to promote harmonious and productive workplaces. 

She is a consultant and trainer for County of Sonoma. And, at Sonoma State University, she is the curriculum designer and lead teacher for the new Conflict Management Certificate program. Ms. Segal was recently named one of the top 30 Conflict Resolution experts to follow on LinkedIn. She is also a contributing author to the forthcoming book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying.

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Additional articles by Lorraine Segal