The Pope, a rabbi and an imam…sounds like the beginning of a very funny joke but last week was a reality. As you likely know, last Friday the Pope hosted an interfaith prayer gathering at the 9/11 Memorial and Museum. This was trailblazing and I’ve linked to the video here for those you who have not yet seen it.
As a professor at a Jesuit university, I am delighted by this Pope’s Jesuit background and our claim at affiliation. This service last Friday also was particularly significant for me since the rabbi (the one in the picture above) is my very talented brother in law, Elliot Cosgrove. You can link to his sermon about this experience here.
Should you watch the video, here are some times noted: Cardinal Timothy Dolan speaks first; Elliot begins speaking at 2:55 until about 8 minutes in (alternating with the Imam); the Pope speaks after that with representatives of many faiths speaking after him.
And here is our family’s favorite shot of the day–the Pope greeting my nieces and nephew after the ceremony is concluded (the very cute kid in the middle and his sisters are behind him.)
Amazingly, this was also caught in the video of the day if you want to see it happening at around 47 minutes in. As Elliot put it in his sermon,
My warmest memory of all from yesterday relates not directly to the pope, but to my dear friend His Eminence Cardinal Dolan, to whom the city of New York owes a great debt of gratitude for his inspired leadership. The formal part of the program had ended, and as participants were greeting each other, the pope stood for pictures with assorted dignitaries. Off to the side, Cardinal Dolan and I greeted each other warmly, and he said, “Elliot, aren’t your children here?” When I signaled to him where they were sitting, Cardinal Dolan insisted, “Well bring them up here, they should be up here!” I turned around, caught my children’s eye, waved them over, and to make a long story short, was able to give them each the gift of a handshake and smile from the pope that they will never forget.
It is this story, more than any other, to which I have returned in the hours since the event concluded. That in the split second of the chaotic recessional Cardinal Dolan saw me and didn’t see a rabbi, or even necessarily a Jew, but friend and a dad who probably wanted what every dad wants: to make his children happy. It was a gesture of supreme menschlichkeit, and it speaks volumes of Cardinal Dolan and the church he represents. If each one of us had it within ourselves to recognize each other not for our titles, stature, or faith, but for the human beings we are, and then performed acts of friendship and service to validate that common humanity, well then, just think how much better off this world would be. I am grateful to Cardinal Dolan for many things, but it is that one gesture as much as anything, exemplifying the spirit of his ministry, that is worthy of emulation. May we all similarly seek, with humanity and humility, to do so in our own lives, and may the spirit of Pope Francis’s visit continue to inspire our great city for many years to come.
Before Andrea Kupfer Schneider even knew or understood the words negotiation or mediation, she figured a way to outsource her chores to her younger brother by paying him a part of her allowance. Not a new trick, but noteworthy that she hit upon the idea naturally. Such is the somewhat tainted beginnings of what would become a notable career as a professor and prolific writer in the disciplines of legal practice, deal making and conflict management. Only many years later, having obtained her A.B. degree from the Woodrow Wilson School of International Affairs and Public Policy at Princeton University, and her J.D. cum laude from Harvard Law School, and studying with Roger Fisher and others associated with the Negotiation Project, did her interest and passion for understanding how people deal with difficult issues and make decisions begin to gel. And afterwards, she enhanced the breadth of her perspective with study and a postgraduate Diploma from the Academy of European Law in Florence, Italy. She joined the faculty of Marquette University Law School in 1996, where she continues to teach ADR, Negotiation, Ethics, and International Conflict Resolution and is the Director of the nationally ranked Dispute Resolution Program.
Andrea’s writing reflects an integrated perspective of the importance of negotiation and mediation that is not bounded to one or a few particular disciplines. She is either an author, co-author, co-editor, or contributor to numerous books, texts and articles in the field of dispute resolution, including: the forthcoming Negotiation Essentials for Lawyers (ABA 2019) building on the two volume Negotiator’s Desk Reference and, earlier, The Negotiator's Fieldbook all with Christopher Honeyman; Negotiation: Processes For Problem-Solving and Mediation: Practice, Policy & Ethics, and Dispute Resolution: Beyond The Adversarial Model with Carrie Menkel-Meadow, Lela Love & Jean Sternlight; and co-author of two books with Roger Fisher, Beyond Machiavelli: Tools For Coping With Conflict and Coping With International Conflict. And beyond practice theory, strategies and techniques, she also explored the frequently overlooked presence of negotiative process in every part of our society; her book, Creating The Musee d’Orsay: The Politics of Culture in France, explores the place of negotiation and politics in art and architecture, and her most recent book, Smart & Savvy: Negotiation Strategies in Academia, written with her father David Kupfer, a researcher and emeritus professor of psychiatry, as the title suggests, explores the necessity for negotiation in an arena that is not easily or openly admitting of the need for such skills. Andrea has also published numerous articles on negotiation, ethics, pedagogy, gender and international conflict and currently serves as the co-chair of the editorial board of the ABA Dispute Resolution Magazine. She is a founding editor of Indisputably, the blog for ADR law faculty and the 2017 recipient of the ABA Section of Dispute Resolution Award for Outstanding Scholarly Work, among other awards. All of this is capped off with her 2016 TEDx talk entitled Women Don’t Negotiate and Other Similar Nonsense.
Her range and scope of interest in how negotiative work can be done more effectively not only in legal practice but in the surrounding politics and culture of our society makes her perspective all the more valuable.