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<xTITLE>Ten New Year's (Dispute) Resolutions For 2010</xTITLE>

Ten New Year's (Dispute) Resolutions For 2010

by Victoria Pynchon
January 2010

From Settle It Now Negotiation Blog

Victoria Pynchon


  1. I will practice restraint of tongue and pen
  2. When my anger flashes, I will pause to remember that behind every accusation is a plea for help
  3. When in the midst of a rancorous debate, I will remember to ask for the story behind the opinion
  4. I will remember that each of my fellows is struggling with burdens that, if known, would cause me to respond to them with far greater kindness
  5. I will remember that I, too, am subject to fundamental attribution error - over-ascribing intention to those whose behavior causes me real or perceived harm and over-ascribing circumstance to any behavior of mine that causes others real or perceived harm
  6. I will strive to practice my primary occupational purpose:  to stay emotionally sober and to help others achieve emotional sobriety
  7. When I do cause others harm, I will promptly admit my part in it, apologize, make amends and strive to avoid similar behavior in the future
  8. Of the primary responses to conflict -- suppression, avoidance, yielding, resolution, transcendence and transformation, I will strive for resolution, transcendence or transformation
  9. I will keep in mind that it is usually better to be happy than to be right
  10. I will strive to accept the things I cannot change; to rise to the challenge of changing the things I can, and to seek the wisdom necessary to know the difference.

More conflict resolution meditations for the New Year here (at John Lassey's ADR Weblog) here (announcing the CPR Annual Meeting with keynote speaker Kenneth Feinberg, recently appointed as President Obama’s “Compensation Czar” to oversee executive compensation at companies receiving federal bailout assistance); here (Innovative Conflict Resolution's first post of 2010 - about conflict "left-overs"); here (Jeff Thompson's Enjoy Mediation rolling out a new blog template for the New Year); here (the Peace Talks Radio Series special on Seeking Peace on Earth); and, here (Amerika on Conflict Avoidance and How to Avoid it).

Two of my favorite bloggers ended their blog-year with gratitude for fellow bloggers - thanks for the shout out John DeGroote at the brilliant and necessary Settlement Perspectives (A Simple Thank You); and the Loree Reinsurance and Arbitration Law Forum's Acknowledging Some Kind Mentions from Our Fellow Bloggers).

O.K., Ladies and Gentlemen:  start your 2010 engines; it's going to be a busy and productive year!  Lord knows there's lots of conflict resolution work to do.


Attorney-mediator Victoria Pynchon is a panelist with ADR Services, Inc. Ms. Pynchon was awarded her LL.M Degree in Dispute Resolution from the Straus Institute in May of 2006, after 25 years of complex commercial litigation practice, with sub-specialties in intellectual property, securities fraud, antitrust, insurance coverage, consumer class actions and all types of business torts and contract disputes.  During her two years of full-time neutral practice, she has co-mediated both mandatory and voluntary settlement conferences with Los Angeles Superior Court Judges Alexander Williams, III and Victoria Chaney.  As a result of her work with Judge Chaney in the Complex Court at Central Civil West, Ms. Pynchon has gained significant experience mediating construction defect litigation.  Ms. Pynchon received her J.D., Order of the Coif, from the U.C. Davis School of Law. 

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