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<xTITLE>Patience, Please!</xTITLE>

Patience, Please!

by Dick Price
October 2012

Texas Collaborative law Blog

Dick Price

Sometimes, people get anxious to get their divorce over with. That's understandable. Divorce is stressful, difficult and often unpleasant. It's usually not a good experience, unless you and your spouse both are still cordial with each other and both want to move fairly quickly through the process. Even if things start out well, try not to be in too big a hurry.

Reduce Your Expectations
Wherever you are on the scale of urgency and on the quality of the remaining relationship with your spouse, you should keep in mind the following:

The divorce or Collaborative process doesn't work like your business. There's input from several directions and we have emotion playing a major role. A good business may operate efficiently and have some degree of objectivity. Neither condition applies to divorce.

Your perspective and your spouse's perspective will probably be distorted. You are both anxious about what is happening and your emotions will jump in and mess things up.

There are no clear, absolute rules. You may get tired of hearing it, but Collaborative Law involves a lot of choices and options. We avoid relying on standardized solutions that are quick to apply, but often don't fit well.

Emotion distorts reasoning. Divorce and Collaborative Law are not purely logical. We have people involved, so logic is often distorted or abandoned. Just because something is reasonable (to you), it doesn't mean that everyone will agree with it.

Divorce is rarely simple. As easy as you might think your case should be, talk with your attorney for a reality check. It's never simple.

What To Do?
Be prepared. That will help move the process along.

Be cooperative. That makes the process easier for everyone.

Be on time. Waiting for information or for steps to be completed can slow down everyone and create friction.

Be realistic. Listen to your attorney and the other professionals.

Keep things in perspective. Think about the big picture. Make some concessions where you can so you can get what you want elsewhere.

Bottom Line: Be Patient!


Dick Price has been in practice. Since 2000, Collaborative Law has been his preferred method of problem solving. He has practiced law for over 30 years and am a Board Certified Specialist in Family Law. He has found that most people want to get through the legal system with their dignity intact, end up with the best terms they can work out (not expecting to win everything) and without much fighting. While some people are able to work out most or all of their issues and just need a little help getting things wrapped up, others need help in creating new solutions and many prefer doing so in a private and respectful manner. Collaborative Law is a great way for people to work together and creatively solve problems. Almost no cases actually go to trial, so ultimately most parties need a strong, creative and effective negotiator who is comfortable in mediation as well as informal direct negotiations.

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