I have had some aha moments again…
As I’ve posted before here (Know Thy Mediator Self), I believe that greater self-awareness will make you a better mediator.
Understanding your personality, motives, conflict style, what drives you will help you remove yourself from the table and insert yourself where appropriate (we bring our presence regardless but perhaps we can manage what we bring?).
Ken Cloke talks about meditating before he begins any process to clear his mind and make space.
If this seems a bit too far out for you… how about some time reflecting on who you are and what drives you?
I was also thinking about this in reading Geoff Sharp’s citation to a mediator’s weariness with another mediator’s battle cry … that dripped with a bit of ego and cynicism. Darrel Puls’ article is inspiring. Mediator’s must bring hope to the table because the parties are so often hopeless that a resolution is possible.
I recently was reminded of something about myself: At times I am an adrenaline junkie. The last time I realized this about myself was when we had just finished an 8 week jury trial and I loved every minute of it.
My latest aha came because I have been sidelined from soccer due to a calf injury. I am not getting my 2x per week “fix” and I’m going crazy! Work has been slow and steady, no fires or crises and I am getting bored. The positive side of this problem is that I’m the one you want to go to in a crisis, the down sides… I’m discovering.
What about you? Is there something that drives your behavior?
Can we as mediator — let go of ego as we go about our work? Do you care more about serving or more about your success?
Do you get a rush from the high conflict mediations, or is it just me?
What are you bringing to the mediation table? Biases, pre-judgments, stuff?
What would you like to bring to the table?
Know thy mediator self.
Never give up!