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COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE If you decide to pursue a collaborative divorce, each of you will hire a collaborative lawyer. Each of you, the lawyers and any other professions involved will agree, in writing, that you will not go to court. Then, each of you will meet both privately with your lawyers and in face-to-face discussions. Additional experts, such as divorce coaches, child and financial specialists, may join the process, or in many cases, be the first professional that you may see. The sessions between you and your team are intended to produce an honest exchange of information and expression of your needs and expectations. The well-being of your children is especially stressed. Mutual problem-solving by both of you leads to the final divorce agreement. A collaborative divorce is a method of resolving issues pertaining to divorce with a team of professionals in which you craft your own agreement. You must agree to work together in a respectful way. You make your own decisions without involving a judge or third party. The process is geared to helping you reach a mutually agreeable solution to your problems. You work together with professionals, with respect and in good faith, gathering the information that is needed to reach an agreement. Unlike a litigated case, where there is a winner and a loser, collaborative divorce allows for a win/win outcome for both of you. A team is assembled based on your needs and can include attorneys, divorce coaches, child specialists, financial experts, and any other professional as they are needed. It is a very holistic approach, blending everyone into one "team." The information that is gathered is then shared with your spouse and team members. All communications (written and oral) made during the collaborative process remain confidential and may not be used as evidence in any future disputes. You then work on a settlement until you come up with one that you both agree on. This process is designed to minimize conflict and allow you to continue an amicable relationship in the future. One of the essential elements of a collaborative divorce is that all the participants, including the attorneys and other professionals, agree from the beginning that the case will be settled, not contested. If the case cannot be settled, the attorney and other professionals must withdraw. The attorneys will assist the couple in finding new attorneys to help them settle through the court system. I adhere to high standards of the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) Model Standards of Practice for Family and Divorce Mediation. Contact me for a free consultation so we can discuss your case more throroughly. Sondra BenNaEim, Attorney/Mediator, (714) 619-9344
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