When you are speaking and someone is not paying attention, how do you feel? Annoyed, frustrated, discounted, rejected, anxious or angry? Such feelings usually make communication more difficult. So how can we show someone who is speaking that we really are paying attention to them?
Apology involves the acknowledgement of injury with an acceptance of responsibility,
affect (felt regret or shame - the person must mean it), and vulnerability - the risking of an
acknowledgement without excuses. It is repair work - work that is often necessary, but difficult.
To be a safe and predictable person for those around you at work
and at home, it is essential that you are able to maintain your
composure when you feel like your 'buttons' are being pushed.
This strength will help you to achieve your goals in business as
well as your goals for your personal relationships.
Department of Veterans Affairs
As negotiations proceed, Parties sometimes
reach an impasse -- often not due to overt conflict, but rather due to
resistance to workable solutions or simply exhaustion of creativity. While
the impasse might signal that the dispute is unresolvable in mediation,
the mediator may believe that a workable agreement is still possible. This article describes some techniques to get negotiations moving.
Conflict is inevitable in the workplace. However, that does not mean that we cannot work to prevent unproductive behavior that leads to conflict. Although it is easy to label people as difficult, the real focus should always be on the actual behavior. Dealing effectively with difficult behavior is a skill that can nip conflict in the bud.
Since same gender couples cannot legally marry yet in most states and
foreign countries, how can they formalize their relationships? By using
a "Living Together Agreement." In this way they can couple consciously
in an attempt to create a solid foundation on which to build their
relationship. It's the perfect tool for sweeping away false expectations
and building honest, authentic communication.
Although the human brain will always be something we marvel at, it is unfortunately not foolproof when it has to deal with complex situations. The embedded routines or mental short-cuts we use to arrive at most of the decisions we take, are by no means foolproof. Unless we are aware of these routines and understand them, we unknowingly fall prey to them.
Talking with Kids
Research shows that children, especially those between the ages
of 8 and 12, want their parents to talk with them about today's
toughest issues, including violence. Even when they reach adolescence,
they want to have a caring adult in their lives to talk about
The goal of a mediator is to foster a fair environment that facilitates mutual,
respectful problem-solving efforts by the parties. To reach that goal, a mediator tries
to assist those involved in the conflict to communicate clearly with each other,
identify their own needs and then work together to develop a solution that meets those
Although trust-and an absence of betrayal-can be critical to the accomplishment of strategic goals, today's business leaders are often faced with the task of (re)building trust in organizations without the support, tools or understanding necessary to work with the consequences of betrayal and complex dynamics of trust.