Ike Lasater
Articles:When we work with our own conflicts in the course of learning to mediate, it offers opportunities for us to gain skill in mediation while simultaneously transforming our conflict. In teaching NVC mediation using an experiential three-chair model, I encourage people to put their own conflicts into the role-plays and switch between the chairs during practice. Doing so allows us to receive empathy while taking on different perspectives. The result is often a transformation in how we see the conflict. Group Decision Making: A Nonviolent Communication Perspective Making a group decision is a form of conflict resolution, whether a group of friends is deciding which movie to see or a community is deciding on public policy. In Nonviolent Communication (NVC) terms, people in the group advocate for a particular strategy based on the needs they are seeking to meet. 1 Comment Becoming A Better Mediator By Mediating Your Inner Dialogue As mediators our work necessarily involves being with people who are in conflict. In the process, our own reactions to conflict in general and to the subject matter of the conflicts we mediate become stimulated. These reactions make it critical that we care for ourselves in order to continue the work of stepping into the conflict arena. 1 Comment NVC Conflict Coaching When in conflict, we may notice that we communicate in ways that are not working; most of us, however, are not taught how to change entrenched behaviors in a way that leads us toward what we want. In this article, we explore a learning cycle based on key skills and distinctions from Nonviolent Communication that we have used to change our own behavior and to coach others through their conflicts. 1 Comment What is NVC Mediation? A Powerful Model for Healing and Reconciling Conflict Taking on the practice of NVC mediation means to constantly hone and expand the capacity to contribute to the reconciliation and healing of conflict. In this article, I’ll explain the basic premise and process of NVC mediation and where it came from, then go into detail on a number of characteristics of this form that I find make it a particularly potent model. Working with Enemy Images: Before and During Mediations In the days and hours before a mediation I can count on having at least two sets of thoughts or reactions: doubts about myself and my capacity to contribute, and judgments I have formed about the people who will be involved. I call these judgments enemy images. As a mediator who holds the intention to create connection when I mediate a dispute, I find it important to work with these enemy images, preferably before I get to the mediation itself. In this article, I would like to share my experience and views on why it is important to me to be aware of and defuse these judgments, and disclose my process in working with them. 6 Comments Accreted Mediation: Building Clarity and Connection This article presents a case study of an accreted mediation -- a mediation that builds by adding the parties in the dispute over time. Using the principles of Nonviolent Communication throughout the process, each step is both a stand-alone mediation and an important contribution to the resolution of the dispute. The case study involves two couples in a business dispute. At each step of the accreted mediation process, the focus is to surface needs, make sure parties hear each other's needs, and find strategies that satisfy everyone. 2 Comments Working with One Party: A Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Approach to Family Conflicts This article presents a case study using Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as a mediation tool with only one party in a conflict. Based on a family conflict situation between a woman and her brother, this case study shows how working with the basic elements of NVC helped the woman gain clarity and understanding about the conflict situation, allowing her to see options she was previously unaware of. This individual session can be seen as a stand-alone contribution to her and it might evolve into additional sessions that would include her brother in a more familiar two-party mediation format. 1 Comment  |
Ike Lasater teaches and coaches individuals and organizations in communication and conflict resolution skills. He has extensive training in Nonviolent Communication with Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. and others, and has facilitated workshops based on Nonviolent Communication across the U.S. and in Pakistan and Sri Lanka. Ike has served as a member of the board of directors of the Center for Nonviolent Communication for six years, and for nearly twenty years was on the board of directors for The Lawyers' Club of San Francisco. He engaged in active civil trail practice in the San Francisco financial district for twenty years prior to 1999, including co-founding and co-managing a law firm for the last fourteen of those years.
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