Blended Families: Protecting Children The Second Time Around (10/06/08)
Dr. Lynne C. Halem Halem
Second marriages are a time for new beginnings, dreams of romance and adventure may abound. Then, too, there are the concerns. Most disturbing of all are the worries that center around entitlements of children.

John Haynes Distinguished Mediator Award Presented to Peter Salem (10/02/08)
Peter Salem, Executive Director of the Association of Family Conciliation Courts, was awarded the John M. Haynes Distinguished Mediator Award by the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) at its Eighth Annual Conference, September 24-27, 2008 in Austin, Texas.

Contemplating My Navel and Conflict Resolution (9/14/08)
Laurie Israel
At my age, I find my thoughts wandering backwards in time, with long-lost memories bubbling up occasionally. I ponder these memories and cherish them. I parse them for meaning, like dreams in the night remembered suddenly the next day, with a jolt of recognition into their inner meaning.

Sidetaker lets bickering couples submit disputes to court of public opinion (9/10/08)
Diane J. Levin
If you seek proof of civilization’s decline, look no further than Sidetaker, a site that lets the public be the judge in spats between quarreling lovers. Don’t bother to seek nuance or middle ground here; there’s plenty of blame and fingerpointing for couples bickering over everything from toilet flushing habits to illicit affairs. Sidetaker (slogan: “let the world decide who’s at fault”) of course is in this for the greater good: …far too many...

Monty Python Star Regrets Lack of Mediation in Third Divorce (9/09/08)
Keith Seat

Litigation continues in John Cleese’s third divorce – along with payments by Cleese of £900,000 a year – much to his chagrin. Cleese suggested to his wife that it would be easier and fairer to go to mediation, but is facing an aggressive litigator. By contrast, Cleese stated that his first two divorces were “very peaceful” and civilized using mediation.

Telegraph.co.uk (July 24, 2008)

Mediation Helps Heirs Minimize Conflict over Estates (9/09/08)
Keith Seat

Mediation can be very helpful to preserve relationships among heirs who get into squabbles when dividing estates left by their loved ones. While conflicts can be minimized through proactive steps to make decisions and provide clear final wishes on disposition before death, there are also numerous techniques ranging from blind drawings to drawing cards that can provide processes for allocating assets that seem fair to all involved.

Toledo Blade (July 6, 2008)

Five Characteristics of Successful Family Law Practitioners (9/08/08)
Elizabeth Ferris
I have been coaching and working with family lawyers, mediators and collaborative practitioners across North America and Europe for the past 8 years and have observed the characteristics of highly successful practitioners . Here are the five characteristics that I’ve found that work for practitioners who have succeeded in building a family law practice.

Mitigating High Conflict Divorce Disputes (8/24/08)
Brook D. Olsen
High levels of parental conflict have consistently been shown to be among the most destructive factors in both intact and divorced families. Currently, we have an epidemic of children caught up in the chaos and turmoil of parental conflict.

Seven Ways to Improve Your Working Relationships (8/24/08)
Victoria Pynchon
Thanks to Kevin's Remarkable Learning Blog (a fellow Forbes Blog Network member) for his  Seven Steps for Mending Broken Business Relationships.  Each of the seven steps can help litigators de-escalate the conflict inherent in litigation before all-important settlement negotiations, whether they are conducted with the assistance of a third party neutral or not.  One or more of them might also help ease tension in the law firm -- a very tense place these days given the ...

Mediation Model Urged for Long-Term Care Facilities (8/13/08)
Keith Seat

A research report on an appropriate mediation model for long-term care facilities concluded that care could be improved by involving residents and families through mediation, but that intensive outreach is required within facilities. Many cases referred to mediation were not mediated due to barriers from lack of knowledge of potential benefits and availability. The report was published in the Journal of the American Medical Directors Association.

Health & Medicine Week (August 4, 2008) (Subscription Required)

Betty Manley, 65, Squeezed So Much Life Out of New Heart (8/13/08)
Holly Crenshaw
A tiny spitfire of a woman, Betty Manley was known as the grandmother of Georgia mediators — a pioneer who zipped around the world teaching others how to peacefully resolve conflicts.

Calling all divorce mediators: inside the mind of a divorce lawyer (7/21/08)
Geoff Sharp
When next at mediation a jaded divorce attorney collapses in the chair nearest to you, remember this has been their journey; 'Dear client, I am pleased that you have hired me to represent you in your divorce. I'm pleased because I need the money you and others like you pay me. I'm tired of working with people like you who are always fighting and never happy, and often unhappy with me, but I feel trapped now and don't know how I could change my practice at this point in my career without a ...

Frequently Asked Questions about Children and Divorce (7/07/08)
Paula Levy
This article addresses the challenge of communicating with children about a divorce.

The Four Faces of Face (5/15/08)
John Ng
This paper investigates the relationship between maintaining face and mediation and its effects on parties.

An Improbable Fairy Tale Of Alien Romance (5/12/08)
Deborah Sword
On a small lovely planet with a magenta sky and cinnamon flavored water, at least three social groups interact successfully.

Are You Really Ready for Divorce? The 8 Questions You Need to Ask (5/12/08)
Bruce Derman, Wendy Gregson
This article outlines what couples need to do in order to face the numerous dilemmas that are inherent in divorce. A dilemma implies that you are torn between two choices, each of which have undesirable fearful elements. If people have not resolved their dilemmas before the divorce, they go through the process trying to manage their fear in different ways by hiding their doubt, responsibility; vulnerability, or dependency.

Report from the Wingspread Conference on Domestic Violence and Family Courts (3/31/08)
Clare Dalton, Nancy Ver Steegh
In February of 2007 the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges and the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts brought together a working group of thirty-seven experienced practitioners and researchers to identify and explore conceptual and practical tensions that have hampered effective work with families in which domestic violence has been identified or alleged. Five central sets of issues were raised at the conference and are discussed in this report. These include the following: differentiation among families experiencing domestic violence; screening and triage; participation by families in various processes and services; appropriate outcomes for children; and family court roles and resources. The report emphasizes the need for continued multidisciplinary collaboration in order to better serve families affected by domestic violence and it includes an appendix of consensus points as well as suggestions for formation of ongoing work groups.

The Client-Centered Process: Common Ground for Mediators And Collaborative Professionals (2/25/08)
Chip Rose
In his “Letters to a Young Poet,” the Czech poet, Rainer Maria Rilke counsels a young man who sent some of his work to the aging artist seeking his opinion. In one of the most memorable portions of the correspondence, Rilke encouraged his young artist friend to find comfort by “living in the question”—trusting that to do so was a far more productive endeavor than obsessing about the answers. I cannot think of a more appropriate point of professional departure for those of us who work with interpersonal, relational conflict than to practice the art of “living in the question.”

Generational Negotiations (1/28/08)
Joshua N. Weiss
In this podcast Josh interviews Dr. Cathy Rodgers and Dr. Scott Mills, two generational negotiation experts. The three discuss the dynamics found in generational negotiations and some tips for how to manage them. MP3 File

Resolve conflict in your marriage, live longer (1/28/08)
Diane J. Levin
A recent study shows that the upside of marital fighting is not just the makeup sex afterwards. Researchers at the University of Michigan followed 192 couples over a 17-year period and discovered something interesting: Couples in which both the husband and wife suppress their anger when one attacks the other die earlier than members of couples where one or both partners express their anger and resolve the conflict… The study results suggest that good conflict resolution skills may be...

Of War and Negotiation: Part 2: The Passion Play - Tolstoy’s War and Peace (1/21/08)
Robert Benjamin
“Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Bonapartes. But I warn you, if you don’t tell me that this means war, if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist----I really believe he is Antichrist---I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend....”/ (1805 Book One, Chapter 1. Anna Scherer’s soiree, War and Peace, L. Tolstoy, p. 3.) So begins Tolstoy’s masterpiece with Anna Pavlovna Scherer remarking to Prince Kuragin at her soiree in Moscow in 1805, her view of the then current Napoleonic rampage through Europe that was soon to be directed toward Russia. The tone of that conversation was not so different from one I had with ‘Anne’, a modern day stand-in for Tolstoy’s Anna, at a /petite soiree---/a holiday open-house--- 202 years later and half a world away in Portland, Oregon. Most conflicts, regardless of the circumstances or context, follow the same script, be they personal, geo-political, or business disputes. In one way or another, their substance is about money, property, power and control, or truth, honor, and justice. The character casting, drawn from the original passion play, are, of course, clearly drawn between the hero/victim and the antagonist evil-doer, or Antichrist.** As a negotiator....probably not unlike an entomologist’s fascination with the behavior of ants under attack, I began to listen more closely; not so much with the particulars of the storyline, but for clues about how, if at all, it might be possible to shift and re-direct her anger and frustration.

Mediation just a quarter of the cost of lawyer-to-lawyer settlements (1/21/08)
Geoff Sharp
Apparently David Hoffman's Boston Law Collaborative has analyzed 199 of its recent divorce cases, and found that mediation, collaborative divorce and litigation all produced high rates of successful settlement.Mediation was by far the least expensive option, with a median cost of $6,600, compared to $19,723 for a collaborative divorce, $26,830 for settlements negotiated by rival lawyers, and $77,746 for full-scale litigation

Community Peace-maker: An Interview with John B. Stephens (1/14/08)
Gini Nelson
This is an interview by Gini Nelson of John B. Stephens. Among many accomplishments, John is co-author of Reaching for Higher Ground in Conflict Resolution and an associate professor at the School of Government, UNC-Chapel Hill. He has worked on education, land use, and environmental issues, and designed and facilitated dialogues on homosexuality and denominational policies in the United Methodist Church. He can be reached at www.ncpdr.unc.edu

Family Negotiations (1/08/08)
Phyllis Pollack
       When asked the question, “are you a negotiator” most people answer, “no.” They do not realize that they are, indeed, negotiators and that they negotiate every day of their lives. They negotiate with their friends, family and strangers every day, about such mundane things as who will walk the dog, who will make the coffee, where and when to go to lunch, or dinner, what to bring to the party, and/or  who will drive et cetera.         Rather, most of us think of “negotiation” in terms of...

Making Referrals To Divorce Mediation (12/31/07)
Georgia Daniels
Frequently, marriage and family therapists may sense that a couple is headed toward divorce, but feel unprepared to recommend divorce mediation because they are unfamiliar with the potential benefits of mediation for their clients. This article introduces the referring professional to the benefits of divorce mediation, gives an overview of the process, provides criteria to look for when making referrals, and discusses how to best support clients who continue in therapy while the mediation is in progress.