What Parents Can Do to Help Children with Divorce

Parents do not have to be friends after divorce, being considerate and business like is more realistic. Treat the other parent as you would a business partner. Keep in mind the "mission statement" of this new business is to raise the best children possible. Consider how you would behave with a business associate you were trying to close an important deal with (you probably wouldn't resort to name calling).

What Should We Tell the Children? Developing a Mutual Story of the Divorce
Donald T. Saposnek
One of the most typical questions asked of me by parents who are beginning the divorce process is, “What should we tell the children and how should we tell them?” Most parents, understandably, feel awful in having to tell their children about their pending divorce and how all their lives are going to be permanently changed.

How Children Contribute to Custody Disputes (Part I)
Donald T. Saposnek
Children's limited comprehension of the meaning and implications for them of their parents' breakup creates terrible confusion and emotional upset and generates characteristic attempts to cope with the disruption. However, the limited means they have for expressing their needs makes it difficult for their parents to accurately recognize and address those needs.

How Children Contribute to Custody Disputes (Part II)
Donald T. Saposnek
Children's limited comprehension of the meaning and implications for them of their parents' breakup creates terrible confusion and emotional upset and generates characteristic attempts to cope with the disruption. However, the limited means they have for expressing their needs makes it difficult for their parents to accurately recognize and address those needs.

Children’s Reactions to the News Of Divorce: What They Need from You
Donald T. Saposnek
The discomfort of parents talking to children about their upcoming divorce is often exaggerated by worries about how the children will react. Parents frequently worry that their children will not be able to handle the news, will fall apart, will be sad or angry forever, or worse, will hate the parents for life. While children certainly do not generally take kindly to hearing that their parents are splitting up, they initially do respond in fairly typical ways that are in accord with their developmental stages.

How Are the Children of Divorce Doing?
Donald T. Saposnek
A recent Time magazine article asked “Does Divorce Hurt Kids?” and presented the conclusions from the two longest term studies of children of divorce. These two authors came to very different conclusions about the long-term effect of divorce on children. Which of these authors has an accurate handle on the effects of divorce on children?