The Type of Mediation I Do

There are several models or styles of mediation. I prefer the facilitative approach which seeks to empower and assist couples to create their own best decisions to restructure their family. Law Professor Jay Folberg lists these guiding principles for this type of mediation:

1. The people in the dispute are the ones best able to make decisions and find productive resolutions to their disagreements.

2. The mediator's role is to provide a safe forum and process that allows the parties to reach their own goals.

3. The parties should determine their own resolution, not have one imposed.

4. Families need help communicating more than they need legal or other information.

5. Parties get lots of advice from friends and family, but few chances to talk directly and responsibly with each other.

6. Voluntary agreements last longer and work better than those reached by pressure or imposed by outsiders such as judges or other experts.

7. Even when people are upset, distrustful, angry or grieving, they can still, with help, communicate with each other positively.

8. Especially in family disputes, the law or court processes should not be the only guides to reach decisions. Each family has its own needs and sense of fairness that must be respected and addressed.