How I Work > Putting Children First

3939 NE Hancock Avenue, Suite 309
Portland, OR 97212
Phone: 503-473-8242

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Putting Children First

"If divorcing parents will agree on one thing, they will agree on everything, if that one thing is 'What do we want our children to look like when they are 25?'"

PAT BROWN, ATTORNEY & MEDIATOR

"Maybe it's a mistake to talk so much about conflict's long term damage to children. Surely, that's a tragic outcome. But don't we want to protect a child from even the pain of the moment? Won't parents who once stayed up all night to comfort a child through the mumps care about the same child's broken heart -- if we only help them notice?"

ALF MAMO, BARRISTER, LONDON, ONTATIO

What's the best way for parents to deal with the pain of divorce? Studies show that it is by focusing on their children’s needs. It turns out that taking care of the kids is actually the best way for the adults to take care of themselves, and to move on in their own lives. So, putting kids first is both the right thing, and the smart thing.

Almost always in divorce, the entire family wins, or loses, together. The parents' ability to cooperate will determine how well the children will be protected, how soon everyone can start building a better future, how much money can be saved for the family's needs, and what lessons the kids will carry into their own adult relationships.

Almost always, legal maneuvering causes more problems than it solves. Discussion, counseling, mediation and collaborative law offer families much better solutions than those available from the adversary court system. Adults may think they have a legal problem when they are splitting up, but their children see it as a family problem, and need their parents to take care of them as a first priority.

I work with my clients to help them make it through the legal process of divorce in a way that helps preserve the parents' ability to continue to support and co-parent their children in the years ahead.

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Putting Children First