"Unless we change our direction we are likely to end up
where we are headed." Chinese Proverb
"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what
you always got." Mark Twain
"When one is to succeed in leading a person to a certain place,
one must above all take care to find out where he is and start there."
Soren Kierkegaard
"The plaintiff and the defendant in an action at law, are like
two men ducking their heads in a bucket, and daring each other
to remain longest under water."
Samuel Johnson
"Opposition brings together, and
from discord comes perfect harmony."
Heraclitus
"In our society, we don't naturally look inside
ourselves for the source of conflict, we look outside."
Theodore Dobson
"Forgiveness means abandoning your right to pay back that perpetrator
in his own coin, but is is a loss that liberates the victim."
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
"You can't always get what you want;
You can't always get what you want;
But, if you try sometimes,
You just might find,
You get what you need."
Mick Jagger and Keith Richards
"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is a part of
yourself"
Hermann Hesse
"In a culture that tends to leave the resolution to conflict to
lawyers and law enforcement officers, few people have experienced
the rewards that can come from working openly and skillfully
with disagreements."
Carolyn R. Shaffer and Kristin Anudsen
"If you are going to be viewed as a leader in your organization
and survive and thrive at work into the next century, you must
develop your own conflict approach and develop a reputation for
leadership in conflict management and consensus building."
Lynne Eisaguirre
"No one can hurt you without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt
"They cannot take away our self respect if we do
not give it to them."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
Stephen R. Covey
"He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which
he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven."
Lord Herbert
"And throughout all eternity
I forgive you, you forgive me."
William Blake
"The litigious spirit is more often found with ignorance
than with knowledge of law."
Cicero
"Lawsuits consume time, and money, and rest, and friends."
Sir John Patrick Herbert
"Our task now is not to fix the blame for the past, but
to fix the course for the future."
John F. Kennedy
"Genuine listening ability is one of the few true forms
of competitive advantage."
Feargal Quinn
"A "no" uttered from the deepest conviction is better
and greater than a "yes" merely uttered to please,
or what is worse, to avoid trouble."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Human beings love to be right. When a person is willing
to give up being right, a whole world of possibilities
opens up."
Pete Salmanson
"The best way to persuade people is with your ears -
by listening to them."
Dean Rusk
"It is a law of life that problems arise
when conditions are there for their solution."
Walter Sisulu
South African political leader who was imprisoned
on Robben Island with Nelson Mandela.
"Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be
achieved by understanding."
Albert Einstein
"Crisis in dialogue occurs when the participants . . .
fail really to address each other but turn away defensively,
each within himself, for the purpose of self-justification."
Reule Howe
"Reconciliation occurs only if there is a systematic
increase in friendly interactions following aggressive ones."
Frans De Waal
"Different works, and strong organizations embrace
differences."
Jacki Hoffman-Zehner
"A teacher of fear can't bring peace on earth.
We have been trying to do it that way for thousands of years.
The person who turns inner violence around, the person who
finds peace inside and lives it, is the one who teaches
what true peace is. We are waiting for just one teacher.
You're the one."
Byron Katie
"One of our strongest weapons is dialogue."
Nelson Mandela
". . .the first thing I would do is listen. I would try
to understand why he had acted in that cruel way.
I would try to understand all of the suffering that
had led him to violence. It might not be easy to listen
in that way, so I would have to remain calm and
lucid. I would need several friends with me, who
are strong in the practice of deep listening, listening
without reacting, without judging and blaming. In
this way, an atmosphere of support would be
created for this person and those connected so
that they could share completely, trust that they
are really being heard."
Thich Nhat Hanh
"If you knew the secret history
Of those you would like to punish
You would find a sorrow and suffering
Enough to disarm all your hostility."
Longfellow
"An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind."
Gandhi
"Perceive all conflicts as patterns of energy seeking
a harmonious balance in the whole"
Dhyani Ywhoo, Etowah Cherokee
"Embracing conflict can become a joy when we
know that irritation and frustration can lead to
growth and fascination"
Thomas F. Crum, The Magic of Conflict
"All polishing is done with friction."
Mary Parker Follet
ADR Pioneer
"The whole business starts with ideas,
and we're convinced that ideas come
out of an environment of supportive conflict,
which is synonymous with appropriate friction."
Michael Eisner
CEO and Chairman of Disney
"Most people's reasoning consists of finding
reasons for going on believing as they already do."
James Harvey Robinson
"Too often we hold fast to the cliches of our forebears.
We subject all facts to a prefabricated set of
interpretations. We enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought...For the great
enemy of the truth is very often not the lie:
deliberate, contrived and dishonest.
But the myth: persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic."
John F. Kennedy
"Every fight is one between angles of vision,
illuminating the same truth."
Mahatma Gandhi
"None of us are as smart as all of us."
Japanese Proverb
"To create better health in a living system,
connect it to more of itself."
Meg Wheatley
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
Albert Einstien
Albert Einstien
"The measure of a man is what he does with power."
Pittachus
Pittachus
"In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.
In speech, be true.
In business, be competent.
In action, watch the timing
No fight: No blame."
The Tao Te Ching
"Resistance always indicates an unmet need."
Ken Cloke
"The biggest problem with communication
is the illusion that it has been accomplished."
George Bernard Shaw
"Those who think it's level playing field
usually have box seats."
Anon
"One learns by doing the thing;
for though you think you know it,
you have no certainty until you try."
Sophocles
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled"
Plutarch
"Problems that remain persistently insolvable shouldalways be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way."
Alan Watts
"When two people in business always agree, one of them is
unnecessary."
William Wrigley, Jr.
"He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens
our skill. Our antagonist is our helper."
Edmund Burke
"Put a good employee in a bad system and the system
always wins."
W. Edwards Deming
"People who are afraid of conflict also tend to fight
inappropriately hard when they fight."
Timothy Butler, Harvard Business School
always wins."
W. Edwards Deming
"People who are afraid of conflict also tend to fight
inappropriately hard when they fight."
Timothy Butler, Harvard Business School
learn so well that they wouldn't need me.
I really feel that a leader's goal should be to
make himself redundant."
Simon Walker
"The ear has no eyelids."
Malcolm de Chazal "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness
that created them."
Albert Einstein
"The talk you hear...about adapting to change is not
only stupid, it's...dangerous. The only way you can
manage change is to create it. By the time you catch up
to change, the competition is ahead of you."
Peter Drucker
"The most elusive and desired quality of leadership
is vision. Vision is the perfume of the mind."
Harriet Rubin
"Peace is harder than War."
William Ury
"If you wish for Peace, Work for Justice."
Anon.
"Peace is not simply the absence of war. It is not a passive
state of being. We must wage peace, as vigilantly as we
wage war."
The 14th Dalai Lama
"The talent most lacking in corporate America is the ability to
effectively manage conflict in the workplace."
Bob Delaney "If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would
have two mouths and one ear."
Mark Twain "No one would talk much in society, if he knew how often
he misunderstands others."
Goethe "He listens well who takes notes."
Dante "The courts of this country should not be the places
where resolution of disputes begins. They should be
the places where the disputes end after alternative
methods of resolving disputes have been
considered and tried."
Justice Sandra Day O'Connor "Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to
compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how
the nominal winner is often a real loser -- in fees,
expenses, and waste of time."
Abraham Lincoln
"Conflict management is a key strategic function of every
organization, so it should be an intentional, conscious one-
not left to chance."
Dan Dana
"The labels 'dispute resolution system' or 'conflict
management system' are commonly used to describe
an organization's policy of using grievance procedures
(sometimes, including mediation and arbitration) to resolve
workplace disputes. This can, however, be misleading.
There is a distinction between an organization's policy
and its use of a true system. Although a very large number
of organizations now use mediation or arbitration in some
form, only a minority have instituted true integrated
conflict management systems."
Track One Committee
SPIDR's ADR in the Workplace Initiative
"You can't have e-cops and e-courts enforcing e-decisions
because people can disappear. In the real world, you can put
somebody in jail, but online you can change everything you'll
be identified by; ADR is the only option."
Colin Rule
"Online ADR will not duplicate the face-to-face
environment. Rather, it should focus on using the network
in ways that maximize the power of technology, power
that may even be missing in face-to-face encounters."
Ethan Katsh
"The whole business starts with ideas, and we're convinced
that ideas come out of an environment of supportive conflict,
which is synonymous with appropriate friction."
Michael Eisner
CEO and Chairman of Disney, in
Harvard Business Review Jan-Feb 2000
"I see too many arrogant facilitators that pride themselves
on their supposed "neutrality" and "objectivity", which I
just don't believe exists. At best we can be clear, ethical,
transparent and equidistant."
Dr. Gilbert Brenson Lazan
Bogotá, Colombia "Good cultural analysis seeks to identify what forms of
power and influence are most likely to be used by whom
and in which situations"
Chris Moore and Peter Woodrow
"In war the outcome is always risky"-Queen Elizabeth
From the movie `Elizabeth' as she contemplates sending
her army to Scotland to fight.