Comments: Domestic Violence and Mediation: Concerns and Recommendations

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Susan Flander , Dallas TX   07/24/14
Violence Against Women
If you've never been a victim in the Domestic Violence process you wouldn't understand the real strategy being used today on women or men that are victims of violence. Many women or men that are actually the victims are being incarcerated as a method of forcing prosecution through intimidation. If prosecution of their alleged offender is not acquired, the female / male does not get any assistance (victim's compensation), if she he ever qualified to begin with. Additionally, some of the women / men that participate in the prosecution of an alleged offender" do lie to get money, so the real victims suffer and are victimized even more when they shows real signs of abuse during a police call. Another form of Violence against Women is the public display of names and faces of girls arrested in the Adult Entertainment Environment. The human trafficking (prostitution) statistics are just as unrealistic as the growth of violence. Many of the women labeled in the Adult Entertainment environments are just patsies for sexual assault research, as they are forced into a permanent and dependent state of employment in these environments due to the labels the Criminal Justice System has created for them. In return, for their new found labels, these women are turned down for food, housing, employment and other types of assistance. Additionally, are targets for harassment by any man that is turned on by the label, in any environment; even if they do find another form of employment? The rate of prostitution among men HAS increased and have we forgotten that it is mostly a gay male that picks up these boys on the side of the street?

Rhea , Palm Bay FL   04/06/14
Legal abuse by Mediator
This article has given me the information I need to speak up for myself after I had no choice but to walk out of a mediation where the male mediator went against a legal court order. He berated my statements, was discriminating against me when I spoke of counseling for PTSD due to domestic violence, refused to look at the police reports and medical bills, and told me after 11 years of marriage and a total of 24 years of a relationship I didn't deserve alimony. I have court ordered permanent alimony for over 4 years and he said the legal agreement was null and void, when a Judge ordered it a legal contract and was within the four corners of the law just 8 months ago. I am contacting the ADA as I am disabled, some of my physical disabilities are related to domestic violence by my husband, and is on my SSD approval letter with PTSD. I am insulted, my rights were violated and I was discriminated against. This seems more like a prejudice issue with a favor due. Leaving me to trust this system less. I still live in daily fear of my husband and there has been no accountability.

laurie , Nampa   12/18/13
mediation
Is it legal for a spouse's lawyer/mediator to barter for visitations on the basis of "if you drop the protection order" I won't use my visitations or I'll change them for you?

Anita  , Kissimmee FL   07/02/10
Partner Violence
This is in reply to Christo's comment that the article neglects to mention domestic violence against men. This is true; the article assumes that a woman is the typical victim. I realize that men and women can be both perpetrators and victims and am glad to see that men are voicing concerns in this regard. When I wrote the article more than ten years ago, most of the credible sources were slanted toward violence against women. I had to decided whether to use pronouns for masculine, feminine or both, and I chose to go with the majority of research of the day pointing to the woman as victim to simplify the writing. However if I were to write another article today, I believe I would not take that bias just for the reasons you state.

Christos , Brisbane, Australia Ql   06/29/10
Women and men can be victims
This is a good article and NVs comments suggest how the abused can continue to be abused by the system and the processes for resolution. However for the purposes of this article, I argue that it should have been specifically titled "Domestic Violence against women and Mediation: Concerns and Recommendations". In short, the point I wish to make is that this article does not recognise or even mention the fact that to a smaller percentage, the male is also likely to be the victim of domestic abuse. By ignoring this issue while purporting to address domestic violence in general, it could be argued that the article further entrenches the difficulty male victims may experience in such situations. Male spouse victims of abuse face two significant barriers. The personal shame stemming from the cultural expectations that “men should be strong and cannot be victimised” and once they emotionally work through this and are ready to seek help, the lack of recognition by the general community and many of the support mechanisms, that men can be victims of domestic violence and abuse.

Danice , Las Vegas NV  whataboutme59@yahoo.com     03/03/08
I Paid the Arbitrator to leave my financial devasted
I sit here in a room on a matress left with no insurance to get my depression and anxiety medication. I must vacate the property 3/8/08 I have to move with my daughter cause he got the condo, the house, refunded more money then we put down on a vacation home in Belize. It took almost an hour to get me from the bath room the day of arbitration, this man promised me no one would hurt me, comforted me, assured me an won my trust, waited for my anxiety medication to calm me down. to only turn around disregard my 4 years of depression going to sever since 06 and stated my clam is limited to situational tempory anxiety, and my inability to return back to work not creditable. He only mentally abused me for 14 years. My ex said he would have me put out of here with nothing. Most days I pray for the last I have learned never trust anyone, cause no one cares about the sick o in the corner.