Yes, the most desirable result is win-win solution. However, to achieve this solution need not only higher energy but also require "soft-mind". In term of energy, if we assume there are two parties and three outcomes (win-lost-draw/status quo), then there will be 9 possible outcomes. One of them is win-win solution. So, to have win-win solution have probality = 1, we need work at least 9 time harder than the usual.
We need "soft mind" beacause conflict is not a matter of logic or reason, it is a matter of feeling. If feeling is hurted/broken, it is much more difficult to solve. Only "soft mind" which is able to accept what had happened and give forgiveness to other and to ours.
virginia , san diego ca 06/02/07
excelent topic, I would like to hear more about this subject,on how to approach and resolved conflict.I have resently ancounter conflict with a neighbor and haven't been able to resolved the issue in productive manner.