Great article Dr. Hymes. I found it very thorough, appropriately cited to recent studies, and quite engaging. Kudos to you for getting a masters in conflict resolution and "looking outside" the thoracic surgery box.
Douglas , Louisville Ky 08/06/13
"Forgiveness is the scent of the violet on the heel of the boot that crushed it." Mother Teresa
Muhammed , Delhi De firstname.lastname@example.org 07/25/13
Excellent read Dr.Hymes. I recall a situation where I was compelled to forgive someone who had hurt me profusely. at the beginning,, I was not even prepared to think about forgiving as I had already broken all relations with the person. Gradually, I understand that, it is not the 'forgiveness' make me uncomfortable but to continue the relationship..I have mistaken that forgiveness means the 'continuation of relationship'The learning was forgiveness never insist the continuation of relationship. Forgive & move on..
Neil , Bath UK 07/22/13
Thank you for this great article on forgiveness and the myths inherent within it.
I think this is a fascinating field and it is interesting to see it continue to grow.
I feel the current forgiveness training risks risks inducing shame for those who have not been able to forgive. We know that we should forgive and, my goodness, it is so hard to do.
My own approach is to normalise the grief that we feel, the `Grudge' that we bear. I find that when people accept that their Grudge is entirely natural they are better able to admit to holding it at all.
I then find that once people have acknowledged it that they very quickly develop an internal desire and motivation to do something to deal with the Grudge.