(7/09/12)Stephanie West Allen
Power and money both act on the brain's reward system, which if over-stimulated for long periods develops appetites that are difficult to satisfy, just as is the case for drug addiction. We call these appetites greed and greedy people are never satisfied. That is the challenge for politicians and regulators.
In Cullen v. Corwin, (Case No. C067861) ( Cullen v Corwin) Plaintiffs Joe and Marienne Cullen purchased a vacation home from Defendants Paul and Geraldine Corwin. They claimed that the Corwins “…acted either negligently or fraudulently in failing to disclose the defective condition of the garage roof when they sold a vacation home to the Cullens.” (Id. at 2.).
The immediate benefit of taking the TKI assessment and reviewing your results (which includes a personalized report with the online version of the assessment) is awareness. You learn which conflict modes you might be using too much, usually out of habit, and which ones you might be using too little—since you’ve not been exposed to the many positive uses of your underutilized modes. Although gaining awareness is the decisive Step 1, these four additional steps must be taken to improve how you actually behave in conflict situations so you and other people will be more satisfied and your organization will be more successful.
Suddenly it comes to you; that great idea that solves a tough problem or helps the company move to the next level, or just make everyone’s job a little easier. Your thought is innovative, well-presented, and then, yikes!, ripped off.
Tackling bullying may involve a counter-intuitive approach. While naming and shaming may leave us feeling morally superior, it might also produce ever more subtle forms of bullying. This article argues that we need to encourage those of us who feel like kicking butts to ‘come in from the cold’.
Below is a list of 60 simple tasks that you can get started on this week. These are designed to be simple tasks that you can do to market your arbitration or mediation practice. It is an excerpt from The Peace Talks Marketing Book.
As a mediation coach, my mantra is “Mediation can be one of the most important days of your life. The decisions made that day can affect you and your family for the rest of your lives.”
This article highlights the relationship of our thoughts and beliefs to our experience of conflict. It contends that our view of conflict is formed internally and, when left unquestioned, projects and holds itself externally in our conflict situation. It is argued that this dynamic blocks us from seeing anything other than the internal thoughts and beliefs that generated the conflict in the first instance. This also in turn blocks our realization of solutions. The article then points out that mediators are in a critical position to support client examination of conflict producing thoughts and beliefs, giving examples of a few common facilitative techniques that support client questioning of his/her thoughts.
There is no “right” or “wrong” type of mediation style. Effective mediators can be helpful in almost any setting, regardless of their predominant style. But resolution of different types of dispute can be enhanced by the selection of the best style of mediator to match the participants and the conflict.
Most mediators I know are passionate about their work and about bringing peace to the world. We like to think of ourselves as “peacemakers” and that our goal is to assist others in resolving disputes. Consequently, we may not always focus on the fact that mediation is a business or that, in fact, we are “peacemakers for hire.” Like others, we need to be paid so that we, too, can pay our rent or mortgage, put food on the table and provide for our kids (or, in my case- my dog, Argus.)
Do you work with someone whose shortcomings tug at your heart strings? Taking on the role of caregiver every now and then isn’t a bad thing; like helping a new employee find his way or mentoring someone who has an interest in learning from you. Nor is it wrong to help someone become more efficient or stretch their skills; no matter your position in the org chart.
I recently joined NYC Sketchnoters Group, and tonight is our second meeting. Sketchnoting is all about using usual visual images — drawings, symbols, shapes, icons, color, etc. — to record ideas and convey meanings. For visual thinkers, it’s a great companion piece to traditional chicken scratch note-taking. Visuals for Change founder Amanda Lyons helms the group, and for a mere 10 bucks, you get yourself an evening of shame-free sketchnoting and infotaining interactive exercises.
Lets face it – most of us are terrified of conflict. Our hardwired responses are either to ignore it in the hope it will go away or to treat it as a fight that we must win at all costs in order to preserve our self image. Believe me, after 20 years as a mediator I am not immune to this once I’m off duty. My secret shame is how I lose my rag with people in call centres.
(2/28/12)Michael A. Zeytoonian
As a mediator and a collaborative lawyer, I often get asked: “What is the difference between mediation and collaborative law (“CL”)?” It’s hard for parties in a dispute and other non-lawyers to see the differences; in fact lawyers have trouble articulating them.
(2/27/12)Diana Mercer, James Michael Davis
This article is an excerpt from Diane Mercer's book "8 Simple Keys to Building and Growing a Successful Mediation or Arbitration Practice." This book is designed to help you develop a good marketing plan to get your mediation or arbitration practice off the ground.
A mediator who can remember what it was like to be a newer mediator offers some tips for new mediators. It is difficult beginning any career, and mediation offers some unique challenges.
How often have we all wanted to say something to someone important in our lives, and yet our meaning is misunderstood; our words fail us; or confusion ensues and we wonder what happened. The same holds true for parties, and for many parties this is the cause of their conflict.
Scotland has not been quick to adopt mediation. I have written before about the wariness shown by some of our most senior judiciary, and Scottish litigators have told me they have more experience of mediation in London than in Edinburgh or Glasgow.
Continuing the Dirty Dozen list of 12 behaviors that cause conflict at work and then are attributed to the catchall phrase, “personality clashes”, I’m adding:
#3 Pitting People Against Each Other
Working with high conflict people requires skill that goes well beyond facilitating a conversation. Some mediators do it well and some should never try. If a mediator sees it as his or her responsibility to make a fair assessment about competency in this regard, everyone is well served – clients, mediator and the system, itself.
This video describes the four phases of the mediation process. This is an informative role-play produced by Jean Munroe and TennesseeMediation.com. The topic of the mediation is divorce and child custody.
The article describes the status of mediation in the Republic of Macedonia and the cultural issues that affect whether or not the Macedonian judicial system should adopt compulsory mediation. The article also provides persuasive alternatives from other jurisdictions that are used to encourage mediation.
A smart guy and I are creating a webinar series for employees on the topic of conflict resolution. In the one section we decided to break down what it means to have a “personality clash” with a coworker.
Some employees think that if they suck up a little during the few weeks prior to a review, the boss will forget or overlook the fact that they’ve made mistakes, presented sloppy work, badmouthed others, had attendance issues, and generally did as little as they could to get by. Not so.
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Steve Mehta describes how full-time mediators become successful.