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New and Improved (Vol. 4, No. 16)

Have you ever really thought about the phrase “New and Improved?”

If something is really new, how could it be improved already?  And, if something is improved, doesn’t it stand to reason that it had a previous existence and, thus, could not be new?

Despite the inanity of that philosophical exercise, I have been working for the past six weeks to become personally “new and improved.”

You might ask what would possess me to take on such a project.  I wish I could tell you that it is the result of a spiritual awakening.  Or that I was hopelessly brainwashed when I was accidentally locked in the self-improvement section of a local bookstore.

But since I am working on being “new and improved,” I suppose that I must be forthright: I’m headed to my 32nd high school reunion this weekend.  (In an effort to fend off the obvious question that will come, we didn’t get around to having a 30th reunion and we’re not sure many of us will make it to the 40th – or even to the 33^rd.)

Nancy proposed the rejuvenation project and I agreed.  When she asked what I thought that would involve, I immediately went to the obvious.  Haircut.  Shine shoes.  Locate and save clean shirt.

That was pretty much it.  But Nancy kept watching me, expecting more.  Having played similar listing games before with Nancy and knowing I would lose, I waited for her to add to my tasks.

“Perhaps you should get back to regular workouts, watch your diet, and lose some weight,” she said.  I hesitated, knowing there would be more.  But nothing else came.

“That’s it?” I asked incredulously.  “Just work out, eat, and lose some weight?”

When she assured me that would do it, I got to work immediately.  I’m pleased to tell you that I have just completed five weeks of exhaustive research on the diet and exercise plan that will take me to my ideal weight in just six weeks.

Did I mention that the reunion is this weekend?

I’m a little disappointed in this program.  I checked my weight both before and after my workout this morning and there was absolutely no change.  I have stuck to the diet and have high hopes that it will hold through lunch today.

Sensing defeat, I’ve fallen back into plan B.  My haircut is scheduled for this afternoon.  I’ve penciled in some time on Thursday to shine my shoes.  And I think I’ll just buy a new shirt.  And maybe some larger pants.

Looking back on my high school pictures, I truly wasn’t that great-looking then either.  If anything, I was on the skinny side.  In fact, I think I look much healthier now being somewhat filled-out.  And my hair, what’s left of it, will be neat and trim.  And my shoes will shine.

It is my hope to finish the process on being “new and improved” someday.  I’ll work on taking the weight off even after the reunion – just for Nancy.  But I know that being “new and improved” is an ongoing, daily assignment.  I hope my former classmates will see some of the result of that from the last 32 years.  And that they will see the promise of what is yet to come.

The ability to see ourselves and others as what we can be is that trait that makes God . . . God.  One improvement I hope to achieve soon is capturing His vision.