Inventing Options For Mutual Gain
In having a successful conversation a most important
factor is finding new options that will give a more satisfactory response
to the interests of both you and the other person.
After the problems or issues have been discussed and looked
at, and the interests have become clearer, you need to work together to
generate options for mutual satisfaction. Often, each of you will have
some idea of things which have worked for you in the past or you will be
able to say more clearly now what they really need.
Sometimes, however, you may be "stuck" and unable
to think of new alternatives. At this point you can help by:
- Asking some "What it… " questions.
- Encouraging creative brainstorming.
- Separating the problems into smaller segments so that
simpler solutions can be found for each segment.
- Encouraging a "tentative" approach to proposed solutions,
asking the disputants to try to imagine what
it would be like if they chose this or that suggestion.
In all instances, the solutions must fit the need and address
the problems presented.
Four major obstacles to generating options:
Making premature judgments.
Searching for a single answer.
The assumption of a "fixed pie."
Thinking that "solving the problem is their problem.
How to invent creative options:
- Separate inventing from deciding.
- Invent first, decide later!
Effective brainstorming principles:
- Design your purpose
- Design an informal atmosphere
- Choose a facilitator to keep the group on track
- Clarify ground rules
"no criticism"
"off the record"
Follow-up on Promising Options:
- Broaden the options on the table.
- Expand the most promising ideas from the brainstorming
session.
- Invent agreements of different strengths.
- If you can't agree on substance, perhaps you can agree
on procedure.
- Change the scope of a proposed agreement - put it in
smaller more manageable units.
- Look for mutual gain by expanding the pie.
- Avoid: "less for you, more for me" thinking. Identify
shared interests.
- Dovetail different interests:
"Jack Sprat could eat no fat, His wife could eat no lean . . .
And so betwixt the two of them they licked the platter clean."
Biography
From the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA)
Alternate Dispute Resolution (ADR)
and Mediation web site.
Website: www.va.gov/adr/index.htm
Additional articles by James Melamed
Comments
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| Adams ,
Britain |
01/08/08 |
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It's based on Ury & Fishers 'Getting to Yes' |
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| Anne-Marie ,
Vancouver BC |
09/12/01 |
| VA Mediation program |
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The ideas in this excerpt from the VA web site are no doubt based on work developed by excellent mediation trainers, one of whom I know is Michael Lang. I would be very interested in learning more about their work in this area. |
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