Mediators as Love Coaches?

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Valentines Day approaches and my thoughts are drifting to love. Well, mostly to the down side of love. Lots of song titles come to mind like:

Love Stinks
Torn Between two Lovers
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

You see where I'm going. The course of true love- or any love for that matter- is not smooth. I'm wondering if us mediators- skillful communicators and keen observers that we are-can calm the 'sea of love'.

Now, I'm not sure how this would work, or even if it could , but I can imagine a mediation practice that helps couples to:

• create habitation agreements that divvy up household chores
• articulate their thoughts and expectations around childbearing and rearing
• explore what level of honesty they want in their relationship

This last item really intrigues me. I have a theory about honesty...I think it's very difficult to negotiate with your partner about what honesty actually means. There's so much baggage around that word maybe relationships would be stronger if there was a way to explore it without the stigma of counseling.

Let me give you the example that started this thinking. In the recent movie 'Friends With Money', the husband tells his wife that her rear is getting big, to which she takes offense. He responds that as her husband, and because he loves her, it's his job to tell her things that are true, albeit hurtful. She vehemently disagrees, countering that as his wife her job is not to hurt his feelings. What relationship hasn't been through this loop?

This may be an item for a 'Take This Idea, Please' post. Let me know if you think I've been hit by a 2 x 4 instead of Cupid's arrow!

Try. Fail. Learn. Love!

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Jorge  ,   Vancouver	caramelo187604@hotmail.com      05/22/07
True love anyone??
Well the serenity of being honest with each others partners/spauses Is to first be honest within ourselves and tell our partner what Is working great In the relationship and what needs a chin lift In the relationship. However the key Is to be honest to our partners In the best posible way that will hurt our beloved ones feelings the least without us being dishonest with them. This might take days and perhaps weeks to articulate a way of approach. It could be after a night out In town,or after a passionate night In the house... You did not think that loving someone for the rest of your life was gonna be a bath In roses now... Did you?? Add New Comment

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