Fire As A Metaphor For Conflict
Having the skill and knowledge (ability) to deal with conflict productively goes a long way toward conflict management competency. But what about our attitude toward conflict? Does it matter that we view conflict as an unwelcome intruder in our lives? Something that is best avoided? And when it does intrude and we can’t avoid, that fight is the best form of defense?
When we say that attitude is everything, we acknowledge that wanting to behave differently is as important (or more so) that having the ability to do so. A horse can drink, but getting a horse to drink is an entirely different matter.
Fire, as a metaphor for conflict, presents a useful frame for us to view conflict. And a way to gently disturb the dominant perception about conflict as something bad.
Ask any group of people what they think of conflict and you’ll get a long list of words that chart conflict’s undesirable side: frustration, war, annoyance, fight, pain, loss, difficulty, etc.
If you’re lucky you’ll hear about the potential of conflict to transform and change. But even when you do hear about the opportunity that conflict brings, the dominant impression most groups have, is of conflict as something undesirable.
At the very least, through the process of exploring our immediate associations with conflict, we discover that we have all experienced conflict in our lives and that to that extent it is inevitable-like fire. And if we explore the metaphor further, we find that like conflict, fire has the potential for destruction but also for opportunity: warmth, light and cooked food.
What is crucial is our attitude toward fire, and by extension, conflict. If we see conflict as something bad, when it surfaces we run. Or fight. When we allow another view, of conflict as inevitable with the potential for destruction and growth, then we discover our choices.
We learn about the dynamics of fire and what is needed to sustain and snuff a fire. Some fires benefit from water (electrical) while others die when we douse them with water. Sometimes smothering is the way to go. At others spraying with chemicals can help.
As we discover the dynamics of conflict-how it emerges, what leads to productive rather than destructive outcomes, we also discover the different ways that we can engage in conflict. Sometimes we need a decision made that will provide direction for the community. At others, allowing disputants with long standing relationships to work things out on their own is important. Sometimes we benefit from leaving things be, allowing time to work its magic. At others an immediate response is called for.
Difference can be ignored some of the time, but when the underlying tensions are not resolved, and new ways of being are suppressed rather than surfaced, we develop “baggage”. Emotional energy that we carry.
In forests where fire is left to occur naturally it helps keep the forest floor free of materials that cause destructive forest fires. When we overprotect our forests and prevent fire from doing its job, our forests burn to the ground.
Developing the ability to deal with conflict is crucial. As important, is an exploration of our attitudes toward conflict. It helps to remind ourselves that conflict is similar to fire-inevitable with the potential for positive and negative. And that we have important choices!
Biography
John Ford works to support individuals and organizations approach conflict with greater confidence and effect. In addition to serving as managing editor for Mediate.com since 2000, John is a past president of the Association for Dispute Resolution of Northern California. He continues to mediate workplace, health care and elder disputes, teach mediation in the graduate school of professional psychology at JFK University, and provide skill-based corporate training in communication, negotiation, conflict resolution emotional literacy and mediation.
Email Author
Website: www.johnford.com
Additional articles by John Ford
Comments
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| Deborah Ann ,
North Hills CA |
11/12/09 |
| Healing |
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Just wanted to say I enjoyed the rticle and comments. I've been a healing arts facilitator at the same place for five years. As a therapist of the body, which includes mind and spirit. Well, conflict becomes a daily part of the process almost as if it is an actual substance itself! My take is, yes, I agree that given trust humanity is refining the supposed higher vibrations of love. In support of all that is I work diligently because I believe in that goodness of heart. I dislike the whole concept of "playing with fire". Fire is never a toy. Please God Bless America! |
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| Regina ,
Sydney Australia |
03/14/05 |
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I enjoyed the article. I am currently studying change management theories. If you substituted change management for conflict the article would be just as valuable. I am planning to use it as a means for personal reflection.
Thank you. |
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| Carolyn ,
Lynchburg VA |
endconflict@aol.com
03/07/05 |
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John, your article was an excellent example of using John Paul Lederach's model for exploring conflict through metaphor. I use this model frequently in my practice and find it is a very effective stratgy to use with a group that is exploring "What is Conflict?"
Carolyn |
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| louann ,
Oakland CA |
02/17/05 |
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John
I was glad to read this exploration of the meaning of conflict. I am not sure I have fully given the attention to this article that it deserves - online makes me read faster!
I am thinking about the fire metaphor. Although knowing this isn't your practice, from my own framework I can say that transformative mediators have done quite a bit of thinking metaphorically -- I would guess because transformative work asks of us to explore our thinking to communicate beyond more literal representations, getting at a different level of exchange (both because of newness and resistance), as well as helping our own growth.
I realize reading this piece that I don't have as much of a foundation anymore about how people not involved in conflict intervention think of conflict -- when running a program and training a lot I was much more connected at this level. However, everyone I know runs into conflict all the time, as well as not welcoming it mostly, although there are a few who find it stimulating and clarifying, and I may be part of that group at times. In training I use the example of getting up in the morning when you are struggling with a big conflict and facing it is like saying "oh great, I get to go the dentist today" --and I think there are probably much more significant examples. I appreciated your thinking that conflict is inevitable, and also probing for what I took as a desire for deeper understanding of conflict dynamics. Responding personally, the negative aspect of conflict for me relates more to connecting to ice (stretching from Robert Frost's poem about fire and ice); for me meaning removal, isolation, deprivation of feeling, slow death. Fire seems much more accessible: it comes, if it is death it is fast; it diminishes quickly (unless it is a major forest or grass fire). Ice is much more long-lasting: one of my own personal fears about deep conflict. From Bush and Folger's work, however, conflict is seen as a destructive cycle -- for years I have avoided accepting the word destructive, because I think conflict is simply a thing that exists, like plants, lakes, air, fire and ice, etc -- but I see what they mean. For example, fire, using your metaphor, can result in total incineration. Nothing is left. Most people do not want to experience total incineration, personally or globally. I think what transformative work offers is an opportunity for people to find a way to talk through the disintegration/incineration , without mediator or intervenor interpretation(because we miss so much of what the unstated meaning is), offering opportunities for people in conflict to strengthen themselves, re-assess what is important to them, think about their own sense of connection to others, no pressure. There is not an expectation that all new responses come in that moment. There is actually a lot of trust that human beings, given open and free opportunities, will travel towards a humanistic and optimistic terraine in which their own expression as well as their recognition of the expression and life of others is in balance. Thank you for this like-minded expression.
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| ana ,
Olympia WA |
02/15/05 |
| Fire as metaphor..... |
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Excellent articleJohn. Reminds me of dynamic conflict resolver Mary Parker Follett who said 'all polishing is done by friction!' Happy createaday! Ana Schofield |
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