Humor About Mediators, Mediation And Mediated

A mediator ridiculing mediation is healthy exercise. With humor any conflict is source of entertainment; clowns are funny because they deal with conflict.

If you are a regular reader or writer in www.mediate.com; you cannot be trusted as a real conflict solver because you are surely more a theorist than a facilitator.

If you think mediation is a new profession, you are erroneous; it began when a human for first time was asked by others to mediate a food dispute.

If you feel the need to read mediation books to become a mediator, you are disoriented; mediation existed long before books were even invented.

If you consider that mediators require specialized education, better ask in which university a four year old girl learned to facilitate the dispute between her siblings.

If you guess that present mediators are better prepared than past mediators, you are missing the point; mediators are always insufficiently prepared.

If you speculate that mediators solve conflicts, you are completely wrong; in mediation only the parties solve conflicts.

Strictly, mediators are unnecessary for the solution of conflicts.

An intervention of a mediator is illustrated in the following true story case:

Mediated introduce themselves: Last Monday we left home and our car stopped after eight minutes; it was sudden. We returned home and started a very strong discussion. We knew that what troubled us was how to tell our stories. The sentiment was uncommon. Between us there has been mostly friendship so we cannot argument we are to blame. We felt it was a mistake and we will never repeat it. We are furious.

Mediator: Your case is very complex. A car may stop for a huge variety of reasons: Lack of gas, electrical problem, insufficient maintenance, just because it is old, weather too extreme, disruptive pavement, the position of the moon or the brightness of the sun, the force of the wind, bad previous reparation, a wrong system to change gears. Also, number eight is intriguing, it may have conflicting symbols.

The collapsing of the legal profession is very dangerous for society; the field of conflict resolution may soon be occupied by mediators.

If you mediators feel that cognitive neuroscience is at the very heart of problem solving, you are right: there is no mind without body.

Any association between mediation and peaceful dialogue is pure accident.

If you experience you could be a mediator all time; better see first what time of the day is, how the night before went, where are the emotions and the status of the climate.

If you deem appropriate in mediation to identify first which is the problem, you may be a good lawyer or judge.

If you mediators follow the practice of asking many questions, you may also learn to keep silent. A real case follows.

A couple went to mediation and told the mediator: We decided to end our business partnership, but we don’t agree how to do it.

The mediator responded: Do you still have feelings for your partner? Were you ever really partners? Are you truly ready for separation or are you just threatening? Is this a sincere decision based on self awareness or is only emotion? What is your intent in wanting separation? Have you resolved your internal conflict over the separation? What are your possible interests and outcomes? Did you abandon your initial positions? What do you really want from this? What could be some of the options of agreement? Where are the points of agreement? What is your Plan B and Plan C? What is your worst case scenario? Are you willing to take control of your life in a responsible and mature way? What are your intended outcomes and interests? What are some possible external standards? Can you handle the unpleasant consequences of this separation? What is your game plan? Why should you hire me?

The couple left immediately after the mediator finished the questions and never went back. They thought the mediator was a lunatic.

In a real case the mediated thought the mediator incorrectly decided the result of the mediation; it was a judge sentencing how to enforce the law.

A real case showed that the two parties to a conflict believed they went to mediation; after few hours of desperation they realized they took the door for the meditation room.

In another real case, after the mediation session ended the mediated were intoxicated; later they became conscious they actually went to a medication session.

After a mediation session the mediated were much more confused; they had participated in a contemplation exercise.

In a true story, a mediator entered the incorrect room to mediate a conflict; after the session ended he realized that the attendants thought he was a story teller.

For different reasons the mediator, the lawyer, the psychologist, the priest and the psychiatric are paid for the same job: the mediator for the parties solving the conflict, the lawyer for administering the conflict of the parties, the psychologist for possible causes of the conflict, the priest for asking god assistance to solve the conflict, and the psychiatric for the prescription to the pharmacist.

Biography

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Maria C. ,   Lanús Ar	08/15/09
Con una sonrisa....
Estimado señor Luís Miguel Díaz: Realmente no me resultan tan graciosa sus referencias a la labor de un mediador, jajajajajaja. Aunque poniéndome seria de verdad debo manifestarle que su humor no me resulta tan saludable para un instituto que yo si respeto, soy abogada y en verdad por lo menos en mi país, esta profesión esta tan bastardeada, después de más de 20 años en el ejercicio de ella, determiné que estaba para hacer algo mejor , por mi y por los demás, por todos aquellos por los cuales quería abogar, sin complicarlos con enfrentamientos absurdos, como lo hacen los abogados frente a un conflicto. En el entendimiento de la mezcla de realidad e ironía, que hay en su comentario, continuo sonriéndome…..pero no puedo menos que refutar sus dichos, de lo contrario no seria fiel a mis convicciones, y a grandes maestros, como el Dr. Remo Entelman y el Dr..Cueto Rua., de ambos aprendí la diferencia que hay entre un buen mediador y uno que no lo es. Del Dr. Cueto Rua de quien por primera escuche hablar de la medición, aprendí que no cualquier hombre sin distinción de género, puede ser buen mediador, solo lo son aquellos, que simplificando su elocuencia “aman la vida en todas sus manifestaciones”, ese fue el final de una larga exposición. Del Dr. Remo Entelman, aprendí, muchas cosas y ya por el año 1995, conversábamos sobre la prevención de conflictos. Esto esta íntimamente involucrado con el estudio prospectivo y la estrategia, lo cual por lo menos en mi país y siguiendo su línea de humor (no sirven para nada) en 1998 elabore mi primer programa de capacitación a docentes en prevención de violencia, estimo que sobran los comentarios. Lo más importante que él me dejo como enseñanza fue que la intedisciplina debe estar integrada al mediador.- No solo yo no soy escuchada el Dr. Entelman elevó por pedido de gobierno un serio informe, para evita los conflictos con Uruguay, jamás lo escucharon ni lo llamaron para dale las gracias. Valga redimirlo como Mediador Internacional ya que él no lo puede hacer. Sin embargo en mi país, y en el mundo entero se está imponiendo un vocabulario conciliador, que lentamente venimos promoviendo los abogados no pleitistas, y los mediadores más formados para transformar situaciones, le aclaro que mi perfil no es el negociativo más que como colorario, yo aunque sonría, por tener formación interdisciplinaria, trabajo con muchas técnicas transformativas y capacito en esa línea., por que creo que es lo que está necesitando el mundo de verdad, sin descartar el humor, y sin rendirle culto a nada en especial, creo que una de las razones que validan seriamente el trabajo de un mediador, es posiblemente el grado de alienación en el que ha entrado el mundo. Claro que antes existía un sacerdote, un pastor, y hoy tambièn, pero no es culpa de la mediaciòn, que donde llega se quede . Trabajo para la Paz, no solo como mediadora, y usted, podrá pensar que soy una utópica está en su derecho, personalmente estimo es el camino que se impone, y que los conflictos deben ser vistos, como en oriente como oportunidades de crecimiento . Me interesa que el conflicto, que es casi inherente a la condición humana, se reduzca a la mínima expresión. Sabe que Dr.? no tolero más la injusticia, la soberbia, el autoritarismo, la mediocridad. Y estimo que la mediación Transformativa que yo hago asì como la que imparto…., nos coloca en una posición, no tan temida como la de un abogado, ni tan resistida como un psicólogo por lo menos en mi país reitero.- Voy a releer su artículo, posiblemente me he encontrado con dificultades en la traducción y no capte la esencia, de cualquier modo sin ningún temor al ridículo en todo caso pensando que causaré gracia por no haber sabido interpretar en su totalidad el sentido del mismo, le remito este comentario, que además me permite reintegrarme a esta página tan fantástica que DINA lleva adelante. Los saluda cordialmente y con una sonrisa, una mujer de paz.- Dra., Maria C. Montani Fischer.- Add New Comment

ENRIQUETA ,   Mexico	07/12/09
This article is great!!, the writter showed a very wonderful creativity, ingenie, congratulations; love it P.S. always is a pleasure to read you Add New Comment

Stephen ,   Sandpoint Id	07/08/09
That was great. More please, I can take it. Add New Comment

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