Choosing A Divorce Mediator
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July 2000 |
1. What is the mediator's training? Anyone can hang up a shingle and call herself a mediator. The basic Divorce Mediation training is 40 hours.
2. How long has the mediator been practicing? [A note here: I remember with gratitude the couple who took a chance on me when I was just beginning. When I told the prospect I was just starting out, she responded, "Well you have to start somewhere," and set up an appointment. I don't want to deny my colleagues the opportunity I had, but if you decide to go with a beginner, do so in full knowledge that they are less experienced.]
3. How many divorce cases has he mediated? Mediators often handle community and business disputes as well as divorce. The issues involved in divorce are very specific and a certain level of knowledge about those issues is critical. Make sure the mediator has adequate experience with divorce mediation.
4. Does the mediator have any references? Can the mediator provide you with names of other mediators, therapists, or attorneys who will vouch for his or her qualification? Because mediation is confidential, the mediator may not be able to give you names of former clients.
5. Is she viewed as an authority on the process of mediation? Has the mediator written any articles or served on any association boards, trained others or made any speeches on the subject of mediation?
6. What is his mediator's style? Mediator's processes vary significantly. It is useful to understand that some mediators are highly directive, offering evaluation of likelihood a judge will sign off on one or another option in court and giving you concrete proposals for resolution of conflicts; other mediators opt for a more facilitative approach empowering the couple over and over again to make their own choices through deft questioning and discussion. Neither is right or wrong. They are just different. Ask yourself how much in control of the negotiation you and your spouse want to be. Get the mediators to discuss their approach to mediation. It will help you become more knowledgeable about the process.
7. What are the mediator's fees? These vary significantly from region to region, but a comparison of various mediator's fees in your area will be useful. Most mediators require payment at each session. Some will take a retainer up front. There may be a flat fee for preparation of the Memorandum of Understanding, the final document of the mediation. Clarify and compare.
8. Does the mediator offer a free consultation? This is a great way to get to know the mediator and become familiar with the process. Not everyone offers it, but you should ask. Sometimes mediators offer the consultation free if the couple continues with the process and charge a minimal fee if they don't.
9. Does the mediator have materials to help you make your decision? They might include a website, a brochure, specific information on the mediator, overview of divorce in your state, child support guidelines, issues to be covered in divorce mediation, relevant articles. Materials are a reflection of mediators. If you have the sense the materials are slap-dash, so might the process be. If on the other hand, the materials are instructive, relevant and well put together, it's more likely the mediator's process also will be.
10, What is the mediator's point of view about your having an attorney? Good mediators recommend that attorneys for both parties review the agreement, a Memorandum of Understanding, before it is signed. This assures you protection from any legal oversights during the mediation. Mediators frequently can supply clients with a list of mediation-friendly attorneys who will protect you from those legal oversights without undermining your choice to collaboratively negotiate.
11. How do you feel about the mediator? Chemistry counts. Divorce is never fun. If you are uncomfortable with a mediator, for any reason, you should seek another one.
Biography
In addition to mediating family and business disputes, Julie is an experienced consultant in organizational communication, working with clients to address specific communication issues through assessment, facilitation, training and negotiation.
Julie, an Advanced Practitioner member of the Association for Conflict Resolution, is also a member of the EEOC mediation panel, a trained US Postal Service mediator, an ADA mediator, working with the KeyBridge Foundation and the Department of Justice, and a Transportation Security Authority mediator, working through the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. She has been featured in a Court-TV, Bloomberg Network and NY-1 segments on mediation and conflict resolution. Julie has also been interviewed on a number of radio talk shows and has published several articles on mediation and conflict resolution. Her reviews of mediation and conflict resolution books appear regular in Library Journal.
She is a frequent speaker at conferences around the country on topics related to communication and conflict. Organizations she has addressed include the International Association of Conference Centers, both the New York and the American Society of Association Executives, the Academy of Family Mediators, the Association for Conflict Resolution, International Women in Communication and American Woman's Economic Development Corporation.
Julie, a graduate of Mount Holyoke College, received her mediation training from Divorce Mediation Training Associates in Cambridge, MA, the Dutchess County, NY Mediation Center, the Cornell University School of Industrial and Labor Relations, the KeyBridge Foundation and the United States Postal Service REDRESS program.
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| clare , miami FL | 05/29/07 | ||||||||||||||||||||
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| Julie , NY | 03/11/05 | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Finding a Mediator | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| Wendy , Granada Hills CA | 03/11/05 | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Need excellent mediator - | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| Jim , Eugene OR | 03/08/05 | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Where to find a mediator | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| Julie Denny, NY | 03/08/05 | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Finding a Mediator in New York State | |||||||||||||||||||||
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