How To Resolve Parenting Disputes


by Arnold W. Zeman

From Arnold W. Zeman's blog

June 2009

Arnold W.  Zeman

We recently featured a video clip of an interview with Justice Harvey Brownstone of the North Toronto Family Court in which he brought to life the principle of acting in the best interests of the child.  Here now are his 10 tips for success in resolving parenting disputes from his book, Tug of War: A Judge’s Verdict on Separation, Custody Battles and the Bitter Realities of Family Court:

  1. Be child-focused
  2. Learn to distinguish between a bad partner and a bad parent
  3. Never speak negatively to the child about the other parent
  4. Never argue or fight in front of children
  5. Listen to the other parent’s point of view even if you don’t agree with it
  6. Consider mediation before giving the decision-making power to a judge (emphasis added)
  7. Separate your financial issues from your parenting issues
  8. Be flexible and reasonable in making access arrangements
  9. Your children still see you as a family, so communicate!
  10. Don’t hesitate to get help (emphasis added)

This list of advice is taken from Chapter 13 of Justice Brownstone’s book.  You can read Justice Brownstone’s commentary on each of these tips by clicking here for a book excerpt.



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Biography




After over 33 years in the public service of Canada, the last 20 of which as an executive, I retired from government in 2006 to pursue my passion to help people resolve their differences non-adversarially.

I have been trained by the best in the field in both the public and private sectors in North America:

  • Canadian Department of Justice advanced training in dispute resolution in the workplace;
  • Carleton University Graduate Certificate in Conflict Resolution;
  • Hofstra University Law School and the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation training in transformative mediation
  • Carleton University’s Centre for Conflict Education and Research training in elder care mediation, and
  • Ontario Association for Family Mediation approved training in domestic violence issues in mediation and arbitration
In addition, to Carleton’s Graduate Certificate in Conflict Resolution, I hold an M.A. in sociology from the University of Toronto.

I am fluent in English, French and German.

Il me ferait plaisir de vous appuyer en médiation en français !



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Website: dialogicmediation.com/

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