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Communication Techniques: How To Be Someone People Love To Talk To

by Jeff Thompson
February 2015

Enjoy Mediation Blog by Jeff Thompson

Jeff Thompson

This is from Eric Barker's wonderful blog. Basically everything he writes is worth reading and I highly recommend signing up for his newsletter. From his most recent weekly email:

When do we really learn good conversation skills? Well, we don't. We're just kind of expected to pick them up...

And we wonder why people aren't better communicators. How can you be that person people love to talk to?

I've posted a lot of research and expert interviews on the subject so let's round up the info and make it actionable.

In this post you'll learn:
How to make a good first impression.
How to be a great listener.
What the best subjects to discuss are.
How to prevent awkward silences.
How to politely end a conversation.
And a lot more. C'mon, let's chat.

How To Make A Good First Impression

First impressions really are a big deal and talking to new people can be daunting, no doubt. What's the answer?

...And when they open up, don’t judge. Nobody — including you — likes to feel judged.

FBI behavior expert Robin Dreeke’s #1 piece of advice: “Seek someone else’s thoughts and opinions without judging them.” Here’s Robin:

The number one strategy I constantly keep in the forefront of my mind with everyone I talk to is non-judgmental validation. Seek someone else’s thoughts and opinions without judging them. People do not want to be judged in any thought or opinion that they have or in any action that they take. It doesn’t mean you agree with someone. Validation is taking the time to understand what their needs, wants, dreams and aspirations are.

Suspend your ego. Avoid correcting people or saying anything that could be interpreted as one-upmanship.

Read the full post and visit the site here.

Biography


Jeff Thompson, Ph.D., is a professor at Lipscomb University, researcher, mediator, and trainer. He is also involved in crisis and hostage negotiation as well as a law enforcement detective. His research includes law enforcement crisis and hostage negotiation in terrorist incidents. He received his doctorate from Griffith University Law School having researched the impact nonverbal communication has in conflict situations with respect to developing rapport, building trust, and displaying professionalism.

Dr. Thompson has presented and trained on the topic of conflict, mediation, (crisis and hostage) negotiation, communication and nonverbal communication internationally for a variety of audiences including police personnel, government officials, judges, attorneys, physicians, sales people, business professionals, and both graduate and undergraduate students. He has also been published in numerous professional and academic publications.

He is the co-chair of ACR's national Crisis Negotiation Section, and he is an ad-hoc reviewer for multiple academic journals. He received his MS in Negotiation and Dispute Resolution from the Werner Institute, Creighton University School of Law.

(All posts by Jeff Thompson represent his personal reflections and opinions and not that of any organization.)



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